Jokes and stuff

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“We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library, whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different languages. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend but only dimly suspects.”

― Albert Einstein

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“Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”

― Albert Einstein

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“Excellence is doing a common thing in an uncommon way.”

― Albert Einstein

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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

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I used to work for a blanket factory, but the company folded.

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iona.
Iona who?
Iona new car!

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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Radio!
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come…

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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
To!
To who?
To whom, you mean!

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Sorry for this but I had to share for my "punster" friends... You know who you are...

Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.

In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.😬

The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it 😝.....pull myself together

And lamp said to lighten up after the floor gruffly said go ahead walk all over me

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