Sunday, November 30, 2014

Quote of the day ....

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“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein


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Joke of the day ..

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Knock Knock !
Who's there?
Freeze!
Freeze who?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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Saturday, November 29, 2014

.Merry go round of the day ....

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Merry go round of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED_hS3e_bXE


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.Amazing places of the day ...

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Amazing places of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFdBNJsW46Y


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kent
Kent who?
Kent you tell by my voice?


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Friday, November 28, 2014

Joke of the day ....



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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here.


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Thursday, November 27, 2014

.Snowman of the day ....

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Snowman of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTUmvf__bI


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Quote of the day 2 ...

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“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Quote of the day ....

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“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
― Benjamin Franklin


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Joke of the day ...

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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Freeze!
Freeze who?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!


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Steven Wright quote of the day ...

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“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”
― Steven Wright


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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cash!
Cash who?
No thanks, but I'd like some peanuts!


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pbCr577RI0


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.Reiki healing of the day ....

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Reiki healing of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRM2AY_iF3I


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.Another Bulwer Lytton contest winner ...

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Another Bulwer Lytton contest winner ... 


“Hmm …” thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish’s bow ties, “time to get my meds checked.”
Andrew Bowers


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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Decorate your workplace ...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHvQJXtV1lM


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.Ice be gone 3....

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Ice be gone 3....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LawzNm8yogY


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.Ice be gone 2 ...

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Ice be gone 2 ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD7gp3l8DPc


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.Ice be gone ....

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Ice be gone ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Cd6JRSkEU


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Quote of the day ...

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“I am human and I need to be loved,
just like everybody else does.”
― Morrissey


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Bulwar Lytton winner ...

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On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained.


Rephah Berg
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Grammar tip of the day ...

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“A metaphor is like a simile.”
― Steven Wright


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Goat
Goat Who?
Goat to the door and find out.
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Monday, November 24, 2014

.Weird plants of the day ....

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Weird plants ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTfB7FWipWk


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.Need a new hairstyle?

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Need a new hairstyle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxCS31J4w5M


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Make up tutorial of the day ...

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You might want to take notes ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYLHzr-60dM


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Joke of the day ...

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?
Stop! You're under a vest.


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Sunday, November 23, 2014

STORM Cheektowaga, NY

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STORM Cheektowaga, NY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocVIXY3RQ2E


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.Jimmy Stewart tells a joke ...

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Jimmy Stewart tells a joke ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IiICcSH8iY


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Joke of the day .....

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Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?


So as not to wake the sleeping pills.
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Saturday, November 22, 2014

Joke of the day ....

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Why do Lawyers wear boxers? Because they can't wear their briefs!


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Poem of the day ......

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“There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
And munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.”
― Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic


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Make up tip of the day ....

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“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.”
― Jerry Seinfeld
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Quote of the day ....

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“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.”
― Steven Wright


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Author's quote of the day ..

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“You have a very open relationship with your fans."


"Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.”
― Neil Gaiman


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Friday, November 21, 2014

Joke of the day ...

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What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY.


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Thursday, November 20, 2014

.Clouds of the day ...

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Clouds of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwcMR6uWL9M


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.For those who don't live in Buffalo New York ..

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For those who don't live in Buffalo New York ..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8rp5bpgBG4


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Reading of the day ...

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.


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Ominous quote of the day ....



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My therapist says I seem to be hell-bent on vengeance ............. we'll see about that.

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Joke of the day ...

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.


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Quote of the day ...

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“There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”
― Tom Robbins


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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Joke of the day ....

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Dorian Gray jokes, they never get old!


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Law of the day ...

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“The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.”
― Murphy's Law


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Quote of the day ...

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“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”
― Ellen DeGeneres


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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Daffynition of the day ...

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“A grandmother is someone that pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.”
― Erma Bombeck


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Quote of the day ...

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“It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
― Jerry Seinfeld


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Joke of the day ....

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One eye says to the other eye, "Between you and me, something smells."


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Monday, November 17, 2014

.Clouds of the day ...

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Clouds of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG_feY4iXcM


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Author of the day .....

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“While browsing in a second-hand bookshop one day, George Bernard Shaw was amused to find a copy of one of his own works which he himself had inscribed for a friend: "To ----, with esteem, George Bernard Shaw."


He immediately purchased the book and returned it to the friend with a second inscription: "With renewed esteem, George Bernard Shaw.”
― George Bernard Shaw


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Clarification of the day ....

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“We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”
― Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail


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Quote of the day .....

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“Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded”
― Yogi Berra


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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014

.Castle of the day .....

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Castle of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcrkBKvN0oQ


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.Fall leaf video ....

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Fall leaf video ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pbGVzc4Tg0


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.Cloud video of the day ....

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Cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSsDvJ0ur8w


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Mark Twain quote of the day ....

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“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English―it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them―then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
― Mark Twain


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Joke of the day ....

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A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."


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Friday, November 14, 2014

Linguistic series of the day ...



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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2I7x-MxP-A&list=PLLOg1X5K0gWJwMNrR08u2pSq3kj3DtFMj


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So interesting!

.Castle of the day .....

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Castle of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUDDsZ2I_gk


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4E9enGqRc


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Why ...

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Why did the football player go to the bank?


To get his quarter back.


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Joke of the day ....

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Mama mouse and baby mouse are walking by a barn at twilight. The baby mouse looks up and sees a bat darting overhead. "Look, Momma!" the baby mouse says, "An angel!"


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Thursday, November 13, 2014

.Crystal programming of the day ....

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Crystal programming of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwH90ZRrnrs


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.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY


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Quote of the day ....

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“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How to Build a Boat.”
― Stephen Wright


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Philosophy of the day ..

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“When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?”
― Henry Rollins


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New word of the day ....

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“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
― Tina Fey


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Joke of the day ......

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What do you call shoes made from bananas?
Slippers.


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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Quote of the day .....

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“Nothing is so common as the desire to be remarkable.”
― William Shakespeare


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Maxim of the day ....

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All generalizations are false.


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What ....

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.


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Joke of the day ....

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Hyperbole - It's the BEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Quote of the day ....

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“I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.”
― Mary Ann Shaffer


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.Ghost story of the day ....

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Ghost story of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T90QaoHLfzk


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXA0-YAoo9Q


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Garnish of the day ...

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What is green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.


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Joke of the day ....

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? 
Because he had a hole in one.


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Why ....

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Why did the teacher wear sun glasses?


Because the students were very bright!


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Monday, November 10, 2014

.Movie recommendation of the day ....

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Movie recommendation of the day ....


Ice Age (2002)


Back when the Earth was being overrun by glaciers, and animals were scurrying to save themselves from the upcoming Ice Age, a sloth named Sid, a woolly mammoth named Manny, and a saber-toothed tiger named Diego are forced to become unlikely heroes. The three reluctantly come together when they have to return a human child to its father while braving the deadly elements of the impending Ice Age.


(This is a movie I have seen numerous times and always enjoy. Suitable for all ages. )


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Sound of the day ......

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCcT6LKo5Lw&index=2&list=RDlNk1B8H4wmQ


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Quote of the day ....

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"Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody can read."
[As quoted in Literary Censorship in England (in Current Opinion, Vol. 55, No. 5, November 1913)]"
— George Bernard Shaw


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Shakespeare quote of the day ....

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“This royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands,--This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard II


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Observation of the day ....

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"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."
— Robert Frost


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Sunday, November 9, 2014

.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l43L8yZcYWY


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Asmr video of the day ...



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You will need headphones or ear buds to get the full effect ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coPKFTqpgJc


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How .....?

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How is a piece of gum like a sneeze?
Its a chew.


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Joke of the day ....

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Why was six afraid of seven?


It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.


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Maxim of the day ....

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Show me a man who always has two feet on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't take his pants off.


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Steven Wright quote of the day ...

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“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
― Steven Wright


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Diet tip of the day ...

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“I cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”
― Yogi Berra


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Saturday, November 8, 2014

.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33DWqRyAAUw


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.The answer to the BIG question ....

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The answer to the question ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JElQ79rc-5w


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Quote of the day .....

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“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
― Sam Levenson


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Bright idea of the day ...

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“Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading.”
― Lena Dunham


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Daffynition of the day .....

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Diagnostic: To pass away without knowing if there is a God.


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Joke of the day ....

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Chuck was driving his car home one day when one of the tires went flat.
He stopped at a garage and found an attendant that would plug the leak and pump up the
tire.


"That will be $50," said the attendant when he was finished.



"That's too much for pumping up my tire!" cried Chuck. "Last time I had this problem I was only charged ten bucks!"


The attendant  replied, "Inflation, my good man, inflation!"


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Friday, November 7, 2014

Military observation of the day ..

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“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.”
― Jerry Seinfeld


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Quote of the day ...

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“The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.”
― Anne Lamott


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Joke of the day ...

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A duck and a chicken were standing by the side of the road. The duck started to cross the road but the chicken stopped him.


"Don't do it," the chicken said, "You'll never hear the end of it."


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Thursday, November 6, 2014

Movie review of the day ....

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UNDER THE SKIN -




I recently saw this very adult sci-fi movie and would recommend it to those not offended by nudity and disturbing events. It was artistic and atmospheric and brought up some thought provoking questions about outward appearances verses inner content. The first review does not contain spoilers, the second review goes over every plot point to explain what the director might have been saying with the movie. This film was weird enough and well done enough that I would watch it a second time.


First review (no spoilers) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozJhUlOqFZI


Second review (with plot described in detail) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyW01TOyEKI


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Sports tip of the day ....



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“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? ”
― Dave Barry


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Quote of the day ....

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“Someday is not a day of the week.”
― Janet Dailey


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Joke of the day ....

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Why was the broom late this morning?


Because it over swept.


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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Quote of the day ...

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“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters


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Question of the day ...

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“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
― Steven Wright


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Works for me ....

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“When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
― Cory Doctorow


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Joke of the day ....

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What was the camel with no hump named?


Humphrey.
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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

.Book review of the day ...

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Book review of the day -


"The Accursed” is the latest addition to Joyce Carol Oates’s boundless body of work, and it’s spectacular — a coalescence of history, horror and social satire that whirls around for almost 700 mesmerizing pages. Oates started the novel in 1984 but set it aside to steep in its own febrile juices for three decades. Now “The Accursed” arises in full bloom, boasting as much craft as witchcraft.


Ron Charles


(I'm currently reading it and I am amazed at how terrific it is.)

Political Quote of the day ....

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"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it."
— Malcolm X


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Quote of the day ....

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“You can knock on a deaf man's door forever.”
― Nikos Kazantzakis


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Mark Twain quote of the day ....

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“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”
― Mark Twain


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Joke of the day ....

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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look Grandpa! No Hands!


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Monday, November 3, 2014

Quote of the day ....

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“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs


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Useful Info of the Day ......

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“It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.
If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning


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Joke of the day ....

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How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?


A buccaneer.




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Sunday, November 2, 2014

.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itAOGRiYRLI


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.Recipe of the day .....

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Recipe of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbT7p_dnJ_0


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.Healing crystal of the day ....

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Healing crystal of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsvbEitcfME


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Joke of the day .....

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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb ?


Only one, but the bulb has to WANT to change.


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Sherlock quote of the day ....

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“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?'


'To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.'


'The dog did nothing in the night-time.'
...
 'That was the curious incident,' remarked Sherlock Holmes.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, Silver Blaze


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Presidential quote of the day ...

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“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
― George W. Bush


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Quote of the day ....



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“Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.”
― Charles M. Schulz


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Saturday, November 1, 2014

.ASMR video of the day ....

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ASMR video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw6x3Jhop4o


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Election day advice ...

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“Vote for the person who promises least; they'll be the least disappointing.”
― Bernard M. Baruch


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Quote of the day ...

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“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ”
― Ellen DeGeneres


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Spoiler of the day ....

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What do Vampires and Werewolves have in common?
They both love the same girl.


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Joke of the day .....

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.


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