Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

(*_*) - Airlines - Pilots Vs. Ground Techs

It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield..
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground..
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right..
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P:Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Repeat List .. Oldie but Goodie ...


SUMMER RE-RUN - Most, if not all of these books are still free, but be sure to check. I'll have a new list on Friday, as usual.

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.


Phonics: A Sounds - Book 1: Improve Your Child's Spelling and Reading Skills

A Common Language

Visions (The Mystical Encounters Series, #1)

Giggle Poetry Reading Lessons…


A Reason to Live: A "Shadowdance" Variation

Future Visions: Original Science Fiction Inspired by Microsoft

Visions of Magic: The Kidnap of Gabrielle Ulan

Carl Sagan's Hunt for Intelligent Life in the Universe (Archangel Project, #1)

Distant Visions: Seven adventure tales exploring distant horizons

Artificial Intelligence

The Vampire's Vision

Girl Gone Nova: Part One (Project Enterprise)

Night Visions: Cursed (Part 1 of a 4 part Serial)


The Ethereal Vision

After the Common Era: The Origin of James Doleman

First Vision of Destiny: Alicia


Common Sense (Wisehouse Classics Edition)

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly-True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

Facebook Logout: Experiences and Reasons to Leave it

50 Reasons Why My Wife Is Amazing

Common Grounds

175 Common American English Idioms

90 Common French Phrases Every French Learner Should Know

Boxing Science: Skills

Computer Vision Metrics: Survey, Taxonomy, and Analysis

Is There a Common Understanding of What Constitutes Cyber Warfare?

Meet Greet and Prosper

Principles and Practices of Quality Assurance

Social Skills 2-in-1 **BOX SET*

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog (Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog, #1)

Avoid the 5 Most Common Saltwater Aquarium Mistakes

Social Skills Worries One Minute Relaxation

A Training Guide on Essential Protection Skills for Children with Mild Mental Disability

35 Reasons People Might Not Like You And Tips To Improving Your Relationship With Them

Life Beyond Reason: A Memoir of Mania

Winning Techniques for Public Speaking and Presenting

How to Improve Your Leadership and Management Skills

2016 Commercial & Industrial Common Interest Development Act

The Best Little Book On Hiring

Survival Skills for School: Successful Study Techniques

Survival Skills for School: Test-Taking Skills and Strategies

Survival Skills for School: Organizing Your Way to an "A"

Life Skills Training Manual

Developing Soft Skills: An On-the-Go Workshop

How to Approach Learning: What teachers and students should know about succeeding in school (Study Skills)

Positive Learning Skills

How to Develop the Skills of Solving Problems

Practical Map & Compass Skills (Practical Survival Series, #12)

Bushcraft: Bushcraft Skills For Beginners

A Beginner's Guide to Desert Survival Skills

10 Easy Ways To Master Communication Skills


Essential Oils For Allergies

Your 5-Minute Metaphysical Power Healing Guide: The Common Cold

Is There a Doctor In the House: Common Sense Medical Insights and Anecdotes from a Veteran Family Physician

Drink Your Carbs: eat. drink. sweat. REPEAT


Tasty & Thin Grilling & Sides

Pie Recipes

Mediterranean Diet Cookbook - Best Recipes for Healthy Weight Loss

Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook

Paleo Diet For Beginners Amazing Recipes

CrockPot / Slow Cook Low Carb Recipes (Low Carb Reference, #6)

The Ultimate Fruit Infused Water Recipe Book

The Ultimate Smoothie Recipe Book

Low Carb Slow Cooker - Deliciously Simple Low Carb Recipes For Healthy Living

The Wholesome Cook Companion


The Only Reason for the London Season

The Vision, A Dark Romance

The Bare Witch Project;jsessionid=352D136EADA80EB9EACF45EFB4E47199.prodny_store01-atgap06?ean=2940046394054

Blame it on Mistletoe (North Pole, Alaska, #1)

Some Like It Perfect (A Temporary Engagement)

It's Not My Favorite (The Lake Effect Series, Book 1)

Make Me Forget (It's Kind Of Personal, #1)

All The Right Reasons [Damaged Heroes 3] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)


A Cowboy's Salvation (Clean and Wholesome Western Cowboy Romance)

All the Way to Heaven

Rania Ropes a Rancher (Brides with Grit, #1)

The Billionaire's First Christmas: A Sweet Christmas Romance

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Carlton (Sun River Brides, #1)

Christian Romance: Heaven on Earth... [4 Beautiful Christian Romance Stories]

Millie Marries a Marshal (Brides with Grit, #2)

Ring of Truth (Silver Script Novels, #1)

Mail Order Bride Margaret (Montana Destiny Brides, Book 1)

The Spice Bride (The Emberton Brothers Series, #1)

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Ethan (Sun River Brides, #3)

Falling for You (Searching for Love, #1)

My Heart To Keep (The McPhee Clan

An Unextraordinary Life

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Daniel (Sun River Brides, #6)


A Teacher's Guide for a Prayer for Owen Meany: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to American Tapestry: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Lincoln: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Their Eyes Were Watching God: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Brave New World: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Ladies of Liberty: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Our Town: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to Founding Mothers: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

A Teacher's Guide to The Alchemist: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

The Great Mother

Common Social Disabilities;jsessionid=B72812A6EE0B13F934C5266ED8F2A1A7.prodny_store01-atgap05?ean=9781365244575


Common Christian Teachings Compared With a Course In Miracles Teachings

Common Misreads Of Reality

Isaiah's End-Time Vision: The Desert Shall "Blossom As the Rose" - and So Shall the Universe!

Jeremiah and the Greatest Vision In the Bible

One Vision, Ten Meditations, Half A Dozen Angels

Dreams, Visions and Seers

Greeting Buddha

8 Reasons Your Life Matters

The Logic of Faith: The Scales of Reason

Jesus & Mary in the Qur'an

The Prophet Muhammad as a Husband

Captive to Reason

Common or Garden Dharma. Essays on Contemporary Buddhism, Volume 1

A Plain Book Of Common Sense For Your Life And Christian Faith


DI Matt Barnes 1: A Reason To Kill

White Jade (The Project, #1);jsessionid=352D136EADA80EB9EACF45EFB4E47199.prodny_store01-atgap06?ean=2940152160642

Drone (State Of Reason Mystery, Prequel)

Loss Of Reason (State Of Reason Mystery, Book 1)


It Started With Love: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Heart of a Bear, Book 1)

Bearing It All (The Jamesburg Shifters, #2)


God-Inspired Visions and Dreams

Artificial intelligence and expert systems : will they change the library?


Leave Me Alone! Greeting Messages for the Misanthropist


The Persistence Of Tunnel Vision

A Clear Vision

Jokes of the Day ...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Iran who?
Iran all the way here and boy am I tired. ...
Why Cinderella was never picked for the soccer team?

Because she runs away from the ball.


Monday, May 29, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

What falls but doesn't get hurt?
What always goes up, but never comes down?
Your age
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

(^_^) - Got Milk?

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer...

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" 

He replied, "They had eggs."    


Friday, May 26, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection....

B&N Free Friday Selection:

The Secret of the Stones (Sean Wyatt Mystery Thriller Series, #1)


Free Books May 26, 2017 ....


Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.


The Break

Count on Teddy

Count Me In!

Counting Crows


Dark and Broken Souls

Dark Wolf

The Count

Zombie King



The Garage


Twisted Fate

Witch's Mirror

Dragon Hoard

This Other World

Seven Caves


Eternal Bliss

Earth - Last Sanctuary (Universe in Flames book 1)

More by this author:

Horror in the Library

Of Pagan Gods

Grave Clouds

The Other One

Clean Hands (The Womb, #1)


Counting Up

Origami Dragon

The Archive of Lost Dreams and other paranormal tales

Weekend Witches

Dragon's Heart



Coaching Courses

The Slavery of Extreme Minimalism and other Minimalist Musings

Eva Gore Booth, the Other Sister

Why did the Northern Rebellion in 1569 fail in comparison to other Tudor rebellions?


House Cleaning


Block Busters

Rabbits With Horns

Losing Myself

A.D.D. 28 Years and Counting My Life With Attention Deficit Disorder


If I Break

Pretty Broken Girl

Prickly Heat

Where My Heart Breaks (A Willoughby Inn Love Story)

Confessions of the Cleaning Lady

Half Broke (Veterans Affairs, #1)

Breaking Free

Broken Protocols


Broken Wings

Island Promise

Desperate Bride

My Boss' Wedding

Ada's Secret


Lost Fortune


Finding Home





Half Blind



One Arm


Fated Souls

Desperate Cowboy

Reluctant Preacher


Heaven's Jubilee And Other Short Stories



The Man Who Loved Christmas And Other Short Stories

Crescent Moon Masacre



Christian Tomatoes

A Lady

The Country of the Blind

Juarez Square

Grass Monkey

Old Maid

Other Side

Innocence Lost

Count Your Blessings: A Novella

The Plan



The Other Girl

Break Bread

Pretty Filthy Lies (Pretty Broken, #2)


Proverbs 31




Annie's 1st Break (The Annie McCauley Romantic Comedy Mysteries, #1)

Live and Let Diet

A Clean Getaway

A Good Clean, A Harsh Clean


Murder at the Break

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart (Caffeine Nights Short Shots, #3)

Prison Break- Fast at Tiffany's

Hero's Break


A Definitive White Paper: Systemic Educational Reform (The Recommended Course of Action for Practitioners of Teaching and Learning)

How to Argue

Art of Houdini


Break of the Moon

Vampire's Kiss


Get More Sex

Honest Guide

Portals of Destiny: Practical Counsel for Setting Your Life on Course

Break Barriers



Off Course

Old Phonies, Cronies and Other Baloney

Smoke Break

Break the News to Me Gently

Tattooed Lesbian Jailbird and other Chronicles


Why Did We Break Up

Break Down

The Black Book


Fallen Gate


More by this author:

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Free Kindle Vampire Series..

Free at posting:

Death's Servant: Volume 1 (Before the V V Inn)

Blood Legacy

Big Game

The Hunt

Death Times Two: Grim Reality & V V Inn

Loving Ms. Wrong (Walk On The Wild Side - Best Friends Book 2)

Video of the Day ...



Joke of the Day ...

(^_^) - Puns, For the Educated Mind

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. A man sent ten entries to the pun contest hoping to win, but unfortunately no pun in ten did.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. When Roy Rodgers saw his boots were chewed he was upset. Since he had numerous cats running around Dale pointed at the trouble maker and said, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new boots?"

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Jokes of the Day ..

What do you call a flipped-over Easter Bunny?

If a plane crashed on the border of the U.S. and Mexico, where would you bury the survivors?

Nowhere, you wouldn't bury survivors


"I guess that’s all forever is...Just one long trail of nows. And I guess all you can do is try and live one now at a time without getting too worked up about the last now or the next now."
— Nicholas Evans (The Horse Whisperer)


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Free Books ..

Free at posting:

Promising a Rose

Wonder Woman #1

Scottish Dance


Jokes of the Day ..

Patient: Doctor, please help me. I can’t stop my hands from shaking!
Doctor: Do you drink a lot of alcohol?
Patient: No, I usually spill most of it.
Patient to a Doctor Doctor, please help me. I swallowed a whole cube of ice last night and it still hasn’t come out!
Waitress: Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sir.
Customer: Did you know that the floor contains 245,786 tiles?


Monday, May 22, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

Q - What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A - A quack!
How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?
Just one if it's long enough!
Why did the child study in the airplane?
He wanted a higher education!

Bad Sentence of the Day ...

Bad writing of the Day - Another "winner" in the Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest:

Once upon a time, a very very very long time ago (ever so long ago), a teeny tiny weeny furry bear (smaller than most) named Norbert Smythe lived with a great many other teeny tiny weeny fury bears in a cozy cave lined with cupboards filled with gooey treats fixed by Norbert's mummy (who loved him just as much as your mummy loves you and always tucked him into his teeny tiny weeny furry bed night and dressed him each morning in little blue coveralls and a red and white stripped jersey and a cunning little sailor hat) in the middle, the absolute center, of a great big huge enormous forest and lots of bunnies and squirrels and mice and ducks and quite a few lambs and puppies and just a few kittens lived just around the corner so Norbert had ever so many exciting adventures and all-round fun times; this is the story of just one of those all-round fun times and if you like this story, you can ask mummy and daddy to buy you all the rest of the forty-seven books in this series.

Gail Cain, San Francisco, CA


Sunday, May 21, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

What did the navy bean say to the kidney bean?

How you, bean?
Why did the zombie cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Joke of the day ...

(*_*) - The Pharmacy

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.
We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike.
Right now, he can't do none of those'.


Friday, May 19, 2017

A Few More Freebies

Bear Trap



With Dreams

Fires of Autumn

Valley of the Shadow


One Damn Thing


B&N Friday Selection ...

Slow Burn (book #1 The Fitzgerald Family)


Free Books May 19, 2017 ...


Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.


Who Ate the Cake?


The Book That Proves Time Travel Happens



You Were What You Eat

The Death Bump

Through Time



Things That Go Bump

Four Course Devil

Killer Charms

Time's Enemy (Saturn Society, #1)

Midnight Falls

Ides of March

Thread of Time

Next Move

Time to Kill

Moving Spirits

They Sat Outside Eating Cake


Computer Moving

Moving Ahead

100 Greatest Novels

Notes of Constitutional Decisions

Historic Dress

Spatial Analysis

Business English



Small Business

Practical Decisions

STEM Teacher

Fly For Free

Become a Nurse


Read Me First: A Take Control Crash Course

Destin Learning Course Guide

Almost Organic

How to Write Poems

Shakespearean Dramaturge: A Theoretical and Practical Guide


Eat Like a Greek



The Rebozo Course Companion Book

Moving Miss Peggy



Diabetes Diet

Eat to Live

Eat Less Move More

Eat Out

Eat Yourself Thin

Alkaline Drinks

Eat Green


Diabetes Diet

Eat to Live

Emotional Eating

Paleo Diet

Eat to Live Bible


Bake It

Low Fat Cake

Come And Eat

Let's Eat

Kampong Kitchen


Moving Forward

Lass of the Ley Lines (A Scottish Time Travel Romance)

Midnight Caller

Texas Wide Open

Enchanted - The Dressing Room Affair

Same Time Next Year

Second Time You


Black Sea

Watch Over Me

Messing Up

This Time Forever


Love at First Bark

A Time of Seasons

Model Wife

Mama B - A Time to Speak



Moving On (Ghost of The Past, #1)

My Boss

Love's Unfading Light

Sapphire Ice

Then Came You


Once Upon

One Scottish Lass


Christmas Diamond

A Chance


City of Angels



Love's Beginning


Crime and Punishment


Madame Bovary


Gulliver's Travels


Heart of Darkness


Angie and the Farmer


Warped: Historic & Fictional Relationships Gone Bad!





The Keys

Biblical Mysticism


Spiritual Philosophy

Course in Miracles

Heart Chakra


Long Time

Killer Christmas

Shattered Palms

Lost Lives

Killer Karma




Perfect Crime


Broken Glass

Killer Cupcakes

Blood Orchids

Luck and Judgement

Postcard Killers

Charming Crime


Loose Screw

Pit Stop

Killer Cupcakes

To Catch a Killer

Daddy's Little Killer

Pig Killer

Killer Twist

Killer Connection

Before the Killing

Killer Blackout

QR Code Killer


My First

Dealing In Cracks. . .Political, of Course


Me Encanta


Time Thief



Getting Unstuck

Emotional Intelligence

Design Your Life

Practical Psychology

Find Your Niche

Self Confidence

You Can Move Mountains

Closing The Door: Why We Need to Move On in Education & Life

The Best Course of Action


Have Your Cake and Eat It

Don't Eat That

Course in Meyericles

Career Moves For Burnt Out Personifications

Once Upon

Jokes I Wrote

Sheriff Gregg & Madam Midnight


Moving On