Jokes and stuff

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“Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.”

― Mandy Hale

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As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

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Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

- Dalai Lama

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Lily Munster: "There's an ancient Transylvanian proverb we used to have in the old country: always put the shortest chain on the oldest wolf."

- The Munsters (1964)

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"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results."

-- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

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"I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me."

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

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111, 111, 111 x 111, 111, 111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321

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There is no key to happiness; the door is always open.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

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My furniture store keeps sending me emails trying to get me to come back, but all I wanted was one night stand.

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What is black, white, red and spotty?

A skunk with chicken pox!

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How come snakes always know what they weigh?

They have their own scales!

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