Jokes and stuff

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“Never do anything against conscience, even if the state demands it.”

― Albert Einstein

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“How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will.”

― Albert Einstein

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“It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.”

― Albert Einstein

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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

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“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

― Steven Wright

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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

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What kind of bears like light rain showers?

Drizzly bears!

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Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

It was too far to walk!

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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Xavier!
Xavier who?
Xavier breath and open the door!

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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?

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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ho-ho.
Ho-ho who?
You know, your Santa impression could use a little work!

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