Thursday, December 18, 2014

Quote of the day ...

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“What you call your personality, you know? --it's not like actual bones, or teeth, something solid. It's more like a flame. A flame can be upright, and a flame can flicker in the wind, a flame can be extinguished so there's no sign of it, like it had never been. ”
― Joyce Carol Oates, I Am No One You Know


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Jokes of the day ...

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Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Irish.


Irish who?


Irish you a Merry Christmas!


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Question: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney?


Answer: Because it soots him!


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Question: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? Answer: The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.


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Question: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?


Answer: "I’ll never part with it!"


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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Um ... what?

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“Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground.”
― Jarod Kintz


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Quote of the day ....

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“The written word, obviously, is very inward, and when we're reading, we're thinking. It's a sort of spiritual, meditative activity. When we're looking at visual objects, I think our eyes are obviously directed outward, so there's not as much reflective time. And it's the reflectiveness and the spiritual inwardness about reading that appeals to me.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


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Jokes of the day .....

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Question: How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?


Answer: He felt his presents.


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Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Donut. Donut who?


Donut open your presents ‘til Christmas!


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Question: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?


Answer: In the dictionary!


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Question: Why did Santa buy a brown cow?


Answer: Because he wanted chocolate milk!


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Question: Why does Mrs. Claus do her laundry in Tide?


Answer: Because it’s too cold out-tide!


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Question: What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?


Answer: You get Tinsel-itis!


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Question: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?


Answer: Nothing, it was on the house!


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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Quote of the day ....

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“Writing is a consequence of having been 'haunted' by material. Why this is, no one knows.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


(This is so true. At night, when the moon is just right, I can see Eric's white face in the woods behind my house, looking up at my window with an expression I can not read.)


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Jokes of the day ...

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Question: What kind of candle burns longer , a red candle or a green candle?


Neither, candles burn shorter.


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Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?


Answer: Snowflakes!


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Question: What is the fear of Santa Claus called?


Answer: Claus-trophobia!


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