Thursday, July 20, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you give a sick horse?
Cough stirrup.
Why do cowboys ride horses?
Because they're too heavy to carry!
What did the horse say when it fell?
"I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Summer Rerun ...

Many of the books on this earlier list are still free:


Joke of the Day ...

Ƹ*_*Ʒ. Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win$1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. As she suspected it would be, the million- dollar question was no pushover.

It was: Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it

A) the condor;
B) the buzzard;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?"

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be an airhead. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The flakey friend responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a dim bulb, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand -- the woman had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. "I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer."

Two seconds later, Regis said, "I regret to inform you that the answer is-...... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the woman who had helped her win the million dollars. "Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was your assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on!" said the spacey gal. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the trashcan is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.


Saturday, July 15, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

What did the buffalo say to his child on the first day of school?

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Give it a nose plug!


Thursday, July 13, 2017

Free Books July 14, 2017

LIST FOR FRIDAY July 14, 2017

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&;N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.


 Wychetts and the Key to Magic



Courage Runs Red (Blood Red Series, #1)

Key to Erebus

Key to Amatahns

Key to Kilenya


More Episodes:

Were Hunter

Key to the Stars 

The Key


To Catch

Daughter of the Red Dawn (The Lost Kingdom of Fallada, #1)

Hare Today

Bad Magic


Going Underground

The Red King

The Dragon Kepeer and Other Stories

Fear Spiral

The Library of the Universes (and other Tales of the King Imminent)


Paint the Town Red

Into the Unknown and other Stories


Dream Guy





How to Argue with Right-Wingers - A Winning Strategy to Dealing With the Other Side

The Forbidden Parapsychology - Sexual Influence from a Distance, Psychic attacks and Other Parapsychological Techniques

The Cat Who Sang & Other Stories of Rescued Pets



Diagnostics vs. Key Measures



Little Red: an Everland Ever After Tale

The Keys to My Diary ~ Fern

Rowena's Key (The Golden Key Chronicles, Book 1)

Black Keys

Any Other Way

A Key to Paradise


Learning to Live

Starr's Awakening & Hearths of Fire (Red Starr, Book One)

Red at Night


Brighter than Gold (Rogues Go West, Book 1)

Irish Meadows

The Golden Key


Edge of Light

Hero's Promise





A Chance


Deja Vu



Red Badge

The Stranger and Other Stories


Dr. North's Wound and Other Stories

Seafood and Other Stories

Lazarus Key



Shadows In The Dark and Other Stories

Law Links (The Three Lands)



The Law and the Prophets

The Most Important Thing You can do The Key to a worthwhile life

Psalms In the Key of my Life



The Ultimate Law of the Creator



Beyond Murphy's Law

Law Of Attraction Collection (Law Of Attraction Series, #7)



Going Down With the Ship

Still Life

No Place

Blake Pierce

Live and Let


Another Stab

Gone The Next (Roy Ballard Mysteries, #1)

Ink Red Dead

Once Gone


The Ultimate Key for Unifying Science and Spirituality

The Master Key Psychological Chart



Red Moon

A Life





The Key

The 20 Key Principles of Goal Setting

Interpreting Procrastination; Key to Success, Happiness and Wellness


Questionable Wisdom: Things I've Learned, Stuff I've Encountered, and a Large Pile of Random Words

The Great American Pee Fight And Other True Stories Of The 50's



"In the Weave of Night" and Other Sonnets