Monday, August 31, 2015

Cleavage of the Day ....

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http://www.geologyin.com/2014/03/cleavage-of-minerals.html#wW9tbhQVo0sg7kLx.99


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Genius Idea of the Day ...

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http://www.boredpanda.com/storytime-rocking-chair-read-books-children-hal-taylor/?image_id=storytime-rocking-chair-read-books-children-hal-taylor-14.jpg


Definitely a guy who is NOT off his rocker!


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Movie Worth Watching of the Day ...

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Knowing (2009)


Director: Alex Proyas


Stars: Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne
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"In the fall of 1959, for a time capsule, students draw pictures of life as they imagine it will be in 50 years. Lucinda, an odd child who hears voices, swiftly writes a long string of numbers. In 2009, the capsule is opened; student Caleb Koestler gets Lucinda's "drawing" and his father John, an astrophysicist and grieving widower, takes a look. He discovers dates of disasters over the past 50 years with the number who died. Three dates remain, all coming soon. He investigates, learns of Lucinda, and looks for her family. He fears for his son, who's started to hear voices and who is visited by a silent stranger who shows him a vision of fire and destruction. What's going on?"



Written by j hailey


My comments: I saw this movie back when it first came out and thought it was pretty good, but after watching it a second time I upped my opinion to thinking it was really very good. Interesting blend of SciFi and Biblical references, it doesn't really preach anything but raises some interesting questions about what the heck the trippy parts of the Bible are actually talking about.

Plus it broaches the topic of precognition, my favorite supernatural topic to think about.

Worth watching. Some quite disturbing apocalyptic scenes and other gruesome and mind boggling disasters. I think there might be bad language too, but I saw it on FX Family which takes out most bad language and might have removed other untoward things I don't know about..


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Joke of the Day ...

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After a day fishing on Lake Michigan, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two live brown trout swimming in a bucket. He is approached by a Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I was not fishing and I did not catch these browns, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and dump these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home."
 
The officer not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license.

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the thrashing trout back into the water.

The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket."

The fisherman turns to the officer and says, "What fish?"

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Joke of the day ...

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A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!"

The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain.

Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.

The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result.

He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back.

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor.

"What on earth have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief.

"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"

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Saturday, August 29, 2015

Joke of the day ...

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One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."

Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."

"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."

"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"


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Friday, August 28, 2015

On the Job ...

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{*_*} - Rules for Work




1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.




2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.




3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.




4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me.  Opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.




5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.




6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.




7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.




8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.




9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.




10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.




11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's nightmare land.




12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.


13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.


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