Monday, May 2, 2016

Perspective of the Day ...

.
.
.
Retired Person's Perspective

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

5. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

Old age is not as bad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you just don't give a hoot anymore and you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.


When I was a boy my momma would send me down to a corner store with a dollar and I'd come back with 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, a box of tea and 6 eggs. You can't do that now...........................

Too many security cameras.


.
.
.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Free Nook Books ...

.
.
.
Free at time of posting:


A Change of Fortune (Ladies of Distinction Series #1)


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-change-of-fortune-jen-turano/1108819090?ean=9781441260505




A Promise to Believe In (Brides of Gallatin County Series #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/promise-to-believe-in-tracie-peterson/1100375754?ean=9781441203281




The Crown and the Crucible (The Russians Book #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/crown-and-the-crucible-michael-phillips/1000161383?ean=9781441229748


.
.
.

Jokes of the day ...

.
.
.
How do you age a goldfish?


Take out the "g".


===============


What do you call a famous fish?


A Starfish.


===============


Do you want me to tell you a joke backwards?


Then start laughing!


===============


What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire?


Frostbite.


===============


A famous mathematician got a flat tire on his way to give a speech. He called to tell them he would be late. "I didn’t count on this." he told them.


=================


Man, weddings are so emotional, you won't believe who I saw crying?


Who?


The cake. Can you imagine that! The cake was in tiers!


=================
.
.
.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Serendipity Findz Nook Freebies ....

.
.
.
Good morning, Penelope and all free NOOK book fans! Seredipity here with a few more free finds. These books were free when I found them; please check the prices before you buy:

* CLASSICS *

The Man Who Was Thursday
by G. K. Chesterton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/man-who-was-thursday-g-k-chesterton/1100059635?ean=9781531266981

Emma
by Jane Austen

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/emma-jane-austen/1116612326?ean=9788897669005



* SCIENCE FICTION/FANTASY *

Re-creation: gift for a slave (The Three Lands)
by Dusk Peterson
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/re-creation-dusk-peterson/1123683115?ean=2940153232614


* NONFICTION *

Everything You Wanted to Know About Ballet But Were Afraid to Ask
by Grier Cooper

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-ballet-but-were-afraid-to-ask-grier-cooper/1123641872?ean=2940152959376

The Great Events of World History - Volume 7
by Rossiter Johnson

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-events-of-world-history-volume-7-rossiter-johnson/1123730226?ean=9781531265366

The Great Events of World History - Volume 3
by Rossiter Johnson

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-events-of-world-history-volume-3-rossiter-johnson/1123730268?ean=9781531265281

On Jane Austen's Emma: An Essay on the Craft of Writing
by L. N. Nino

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/on-jane-austens-emma-l-n-nino/1121998275?ean=2940152138436

* FOREIGN LANGUAGE *

This edition is in Italian:

Emma
by Jane Austen

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/emma-jane-austen/1108893360?ean=9788897669012

Ritorno a Cape Love
by Viviana Giorgi

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ritorno-a-cape-love-viviana-giorgi/1120748643?ean=9788868930134

Happy reading!
.
.
.

Free Kindle Cozies ...

.
.
.
Free at time of posting:


The Hope Diamond: A Romantic Comedy (Sweet Delicious Madness Cozy Series Book 1)


http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Diamond-Romantic-Delicious-Madness-ebook/dp/B00UVWPOLC/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=




Riots And Revelations (Lady C Investigates Book 2)

http://www.amazon.com/Riots-Revelations-Lady-Investigates-Book-ebook/dp/B01EPA278S/ref=la_B00W46PV6Q_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462017808&sr=1-4




The Mystery of the Blue Dolphins (A Dog Detective Series Book 1)

http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Blue-Dolphins-Detective-Book-ebook/dp/B00RBRBNG0/ref=la_B00G7O1B7Y_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462017867&sr=1-1




A Shot in the Bark: A Dog Park Mystery (Lia Anderson Dog Park Mysteries Book 1)

http://www.amazon.com/Shot-Bark-Mystery-Anderson-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B005KQ5C2K/ref=la_B005KUHOTA_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462017922&sr=1-5


Once you get the free book you can get the audio book for just $1.99

http://www.amazon.com/Shot-Bark-Park-Mystery-Book/dp/B00D36DN84/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=


Doggone Christmas: A Polly Parrett Pet-Sitter Cozy Murder Mystery (Polly Parrett Pet-Sitter Cozy Murder Mysteries Book 1)

http://www.amazon.com/Doggone-Christmas-Parrett-Pet-Sitter-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00Q5IJ2A0/ref=la_B00B7LS9BI_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462018070&sr=1-1


Once you get the free book you can get the audio book for just $1.99

http://www.amazon.com/Doggone-Christmas-Parrett-Pet-Sitter-Mystery/dp/B01DWS444O/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=


.
.
.

Jokes of the Day ....

.
.
.
A turtle was bitten in the neck by a wasp.


He said: "Oh No! If it swells I'll have to spend the night outside!"


===================


Two horses were visiting a zoo. In front of the cage of zebras, they exclaim: - Look, here's where they keep the prisoners!


===================


The personal trainer was trying to get a sluggish client motivated. He said, " You walk slowly, you run slowly, you do push ups slowly. Is there something that you do fast?"


"Oh yes," the client said, " I tire quickly."


================


Teacher - Peter, did your mother help you to do your homework?


Peter- No, no she didn't!


Teacher- Are you sure you are telling me the truth?


Peter - Yes, I'm sure. She did it alone.


========================
.
.
.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Serendipity Findz Additional Free Nook Books...

.
.
.
Thank you, Penelope! Here is the list that I lost this morning; sorry if I have duplicated any of your selections:

* CLASSICS *

The Complete Father Brown Stories (Centaur Classics)
by G. K. Chesterton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/complete-father-brown-stories-g-k-chesterton/1102046489?ean=9786050425918

* CHRISTIAN FICTION *

Sarai (Wives of the Patriarchs Book #1): A Novel
by Jill Eileen Smith

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sarai-jill-eileen-smith/1102992878?ean=9781441236036

* NONFICTION *

American Civil War
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/american-civil-war-henry-freeman/1123686954?ean=2940153262208

The Renaissance: A History From Beginning to End
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-renaissance-henry-freeman/1123686972?ean=2940153196770

Pirates: The Golden Age of Piracy
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pirates-henry-freeman/1123686688?ean=2940153253688

Genghis Khan
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/genghis-khan-henry-freeman/1123686686?ean=2940153192406

Julius Caesar
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/julius-caesar-philip-freeman/1100331053?ean=2940153241883

Russian Revolution
by Henry Freeman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/russian-revolution-henry-freeman/1123686968?ean=2940153259420

Slipstream Time Hacking: How to Cheat Time, Live More, And Enhance Happiness
by Benjamin P. Hardy

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/slipstream-time-hacking-benjamin-p-hardy/1123166941?ean=2940152533262

How to Lose Weight for Good: Stop Guessing, Start Losing
by Laine Norton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-lose-weight-for-good-laine-norton/1123456379?ean=2940152689341

* SCIENCE FICTION/HORROR/FANTASY *

Razorback
by Roger Wood

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/razorback-roger-wood/1121090428?ean=2940046520613

Patasola
by Roger Wood

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/patasola-roger-wood/1120667175?ean=2940046375886

Carnacki: The Saiitii Manifestation
by Roger Wood

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/carnacki-roger-wood/1122044336?ean=2940151942386

Carnacki: The Relict
by Roger Wood

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/carnacki-roger-wood/1122868812?ean=2940152431001

Pivotal Moment
by Simon Stanton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pivotal-moment-simon-stanton/1123732688?ean=2940152991086

Never the Twain
by Simon Stanton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/never-the-twain-simon-stanton/1123293003?ean=2940152581027

The Quantum Theologist
by Simon Stanton

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-quantum-theologist-simon-stanton/1123482502?ean=2940152895148

First Strike
by Richard Turner

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/first-strike-mr-richard-turner/1121498537?ean=2940151857123

The Black God's War: A Novella Introducing a New Epic Fantasy
by Moses Siregar III

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-black-gods-war-moses-iii-siregar/1113022458?ean=2940011097447

The Gods War Chronicles
by Iain Oakley

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-gods-war-chronicles-iain-oakley/1017992053?ean=9781447556657


Happy reading!


.
.
.