Sunday, January 17, 2021

Card of the day

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Card of the day


Chariot - Enchanted Tarot


Power, ambition, determination


Burning desire


Has chosen his purpose


Will emerge the victor


Blaze new trails


Discipline and control


Possibility of getting distracted


Suppressing feeling and emotion to hold on


Help from the forces of nature


See a strong white light surrounding you


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The Day I Saved the Frogs

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When I was in high school in Yorktown Heights I was not doing well in science. The teacher offered us a chance to earn extra credits if we brought in a large frog. I went to a local marshy area and caught a huge bull frog. The next day I brought it to school where it was placed in a large tank with water and rocks. There were about six other frogs in the tank. I was proud that mine was the biggest.


Later, near the end of class, the teacher mentioned that we were going to dissect the frogs and see their beating hearts! I almost fainted with horror. It was all I could think about. When the class ended I waited to talk to the teacher to ask for my frog back. While I was standing there another girl in the class drew me aside. She was Pam Panta, the daughter of the earth science teacher. She told me it wouldn't do any good to ask for my frog. I wouldn't get it back. 


So we cooked up a scheme to rescue all the frogs. I got my big bucket and we broke into the empty classroom and put all the frogs in the bucket. We we nervous about being caught, but somehow we got the frogs out of the school without anyone catching us. I took the frogs back to the marshy area and set them all free. It was the best feeling seeing them hop and plop back into the water.


The next day Pam and I tried to look innocent and normal. The science teacher was furious the frogs were gone. He knew someone had taken them. He knew it was me. Either I looked guilty, or he had seen how horrified I was the day before. After class he told me that if I didn't bring the frogs back he was going to fail me. I tried to lie and act innocent, but I'm not good at that. I never mentioned Pam, and he didn't suspect her because she was a teacher's daughter and we didn't hang out together routinely.


Sure enough he failed me. He threatened to have me prosecuted for theft, but he only failed me. I had to take the class again in summer school. We never did dissect live frogs, just horrible pickled frogs in formaldehyde. They smelled horrible. I didn't see the point in doing it. But we cut the dead frogs up and labeled the body parts. It was disgusting.


But still, I had a happy feeling inside knowing that my bull frog, and the other frogs, were out there in the wild. Happy in the marsh. 

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Saturday, January 16, 2021

Jokes

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Ƹ*_*Ʒ. - The Diet

A woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." 

When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. 

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" 

The woman nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." 

"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor." 

"No, from skipping."

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Why did the bacon laugh? 

Because the egg cracked a yolk! 

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What do cats put in their drinks? 

Mice cubes!

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Friday, January 15, 2021

card of the day

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Card of the day


Queen of Cups - Rider Waite deck (my training deck)


Protected by love, warmth, caring


Pursue the creative arts - poetry, music, literature, painting


Open yourself up to new visions, new possibilities


Follow the prompting of your heart


Keep your emotions under control


Faithful, loving, imaginative


Trouble saying "no" to anyone


Possibility of becoming depressed and withdrawn


Send warm loving feelings going out to those who need them


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Poem I wrote

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POLLUTED WITH THE CURSE


Something is lost that is never found

Something is broken that is never made whole

Something is taken but never returned

Something is wrong that is never made right

Something is soiled that is never made clean

Something is soured that is never made sweet

Something is darkened that is never made light 

Something is asked that is never answered

Something is emptied that is never refilled

Something is owed that is never paid

Something is bloody that never heals

Something is hungry that has never been fed

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Jokes and stuff

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My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

 Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

 She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

 I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'

 She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

 I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don't do that kind of thing.'

 The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

 Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

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We had to have the garage door repaired.

 The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

 I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

 He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'

 I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

 We haven't used that repairman since...

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I live in a semi rural area.

 We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEAR CROSSING sign on our road.

 The reason: 'Too many dears are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

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 IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

 My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.

 She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

 He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

 To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

 He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

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The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.

 I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.

 She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.

 I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

 Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee.....

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When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a 

 service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

 We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

 As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

`Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

 His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

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Why did Johnny bring his skunk to school? 

For show-and-smell!

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How do you make a milk shake? 

Scare it!

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There is no key to happiness; the door is always open.

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Wednesday, January 13, 2021

jokes and stuff

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One of my favorite jokes:

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when a particular prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. The new rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year-old man who was one of the original founders of their shul. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.

The one whose followers stood during the prayer asked the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

The one whose followers sat said, "Then the tradition is to sit!"

The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."

Then the rabbi said to the old man, "But the congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand."

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition!"

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How is a cat different from a frog? 

A cat has nine lives while a frog croaks every day! 

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Where do baby cows eat their lunch at school? 

The calf-eteria!

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