Thursday, July 20, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
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What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
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What do you give a sick horse?
Cough stirrup.
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Why do cowboys ride horses?
Because they're too heavy to carry!
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What did the horse say when it fell?
"I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"
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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Summer Rerun ...

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Many of the books on this earlier list are still free:

http://turningkey.blogspot.com/2016/03/free-friday-nook-books_11.html

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Joke of the Day ...

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Ƹ*_*Ʒ. Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win$1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. As she suspected it would be, the million- dollar question was no pushover.

It was: Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it

A) the condor;
B) the buzzard;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?"

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be an airhead. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The flakey friend responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a dim bulb, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand -- the woman had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. "I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis. "Yes, that is my final answer."

Two seconds later, Regis said, "I regret to inform you that the answer is-...... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"


Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the woman who had helped her win the million dollars. "Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was your assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way......how did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on!" said the spacey gal. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

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Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table, and notice that the trashcan is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

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Saturday, July 15, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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What did the buffalo say to his child on the first day of school?

Bi-son!
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How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
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Give it a nose plug!

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Thursday, July 13, 2017

Free Books July 14, 2017

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LIST FOR FRIDAY July 14, 2017

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&;N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.

CHILDREN/YA

 Wychetts and the Key to Magic

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wychetts-and-the-key-to-magic-william-holley/1116890434?ean=2940045256162

PARANORMAL/ SCIFI/ FANTASY

Red

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/red-amy-stilgenbauer/1119883548?ean=2940046034134

Courage Runs Red (Blood Red Series, #1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/courage-runs-red-wj-may/1121790688?ean=2940152141894

Key to Erebus

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-key-to-erebus-emma-v-leech/1113743660?ean=2940045035118

Key to Amatahns

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-key-of-amatahns-elisabeth-wheatley/1103528272?ean=2940157174613

Key to Kilenya

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-key-of-kilenya-andrea-pearson/1021181500?ean=2940152780246

Secrets

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secrets-of-sanctuary-hospital-nightmare-of-the-dark-shadows-laa-law/1118585754?ean=2940045670876

More Episodes:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secrets-of-sanctuary-hospital-a-hidden-enclave-for-angels-demons-and-vampires-laa-law/1116264041?ean=2940045160506

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secrets-of-sanctuary-hospital-andrew-and-mias-encounter-laa-law/1121100772?ean=2940046524246

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secrets-of-sanctuary-hospital-mias-dark-encounter-laa-law/1120374752?ean=2940046178258

Were Hunter

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/red-the-were-hunter-rebekah-r-ganiere/1121837685?ean=2940151691574

Key to the Stars

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/key-to-the-stars-kevin-domenic/1103093524?ean=2940011102066 

The Key 

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-key-brian-fisher/1106546906?ean=2940011532047

Urban

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/going-urban-ls-sygnet/1122928329?ean=2940152457452

To Catch

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/to-catch-a-wolf-lynn-red/1117923858?ean=9781501401701

Daughter of the Red Dawn (The Lost Kingdom of Fallada, #1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/daughter-of-the-red-dawn-alicia-michaels/1113068936?ean=2940154351239

Hare Today

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hare-today-bear-tomorrow-lynn-red/1122489777?ean=2940152676594

Bad Magic

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bad-magic-c-gockel/1126061144?ean=2940157391089

Midnight

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/midnight-liberty-league-brock-law/1125912003?ean=2940154045343

Going Underground

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/going-underground-chris-ward/1114587708?ean=2940044313644

The Red King

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-red-king-nick-cole/1123195751?ean=2940156812790

The Dragon Kepeer and Other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-dragon-kepeer-and-other-stories-lynne-roberts/1118861321?ean=2940045732116

Fear Spiral

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fear-spiral-and-other-stories-s-r-mulrune/1122044383?ean=2940151942942

The Library of the Universes (and other Tales of the King Imminent)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-library-of-the-universes-dangerous-walker/1119711419?ean=2940045998918

Red

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/red-adriano-silva/1123293066?ean=2940152580488

Paint the Town Red

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/paint-the-town-red-shanna-swendson/1125298702?ean=2940157055370

Into the Unknown and other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/into-the-unknown-and-other-stories-jaron-panikkar/1124491312?ean=2940153703817

NONFICTION

Dream Guy

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-get-your-dream-guy-a-step-by-step-system-to-going-from-single-to-being-with-the-man-of-your-dreams-jake-collins/1126007091?ean=2940154317884

Attraction

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-law-of-attraction-tactics-mikka-hamilton/1126551584?ean=2940154737309

Business

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/going-into-business-vs-looking-for-a-way-to-get-rich-quick-sven-hylt-n-cavallius/1122557551?ean=9781329437104

 Cyber

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cyber-attacks-and-the-law-of-war-michael-gervais/1118525938?ean=9781304829139

Narrative

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/narrative-of-the-life-of-frederick-douglass-frederick-douglass/1116743956?ean=9781387061129

How to Argue with Right-Wingers - A Winning Strategy to Dealing With the Other Side

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-argue-with-right-wingers-a-winning-strategy-to-dealing-with-the-other-side-daniel-a-amerson/1125960780?ean=2940154285466

The Forbidden Parapsychology - Sexual Influence from a Distance, Psychic attacks and Other Parapsychological Techniques

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-forbidden-parapsychology-sexual-influence-from-a-distance-psychic-attacks-and-other-parapsychological-techniques-jose-m-herrou-aragon/1112483245?ean=9781105884658

The Cat Who Sang & Other Stories of Rescued Pets

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-cat-who-sang-other-stories-of-rescued-pets-brigitta-macmillan/1120816314?ean=9781326045456

Declutter

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/declutter-your-home-effectively-house-cleaning-hacks-to-a-clutter-free-life-k-collins/1124074037?ean=2940153114408

Guitar

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/guitar-chord-chart-chords-arranged-by-key-freehand/1018761158?ean=2940000486740

Diagnostics vs. Key Measures

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/diagnostics-vs-key-measures-chris-garson/1114796489?ean=2940044355569

Grooms

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-honest-guide-for-grooms-man-to-man-advice-about-suits-speeches-best-men-bucks-parties-budgets-and-other-wedding-decisions-a-happily-married-man/1115766425?ean=2940044585317

ROMANCE

Little Red: an Everland Ever After Tale

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/little-red-caroline-lee/1125829354?ean=2940154019450

The Keys to My Diary ~ Fern

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-keys-to-my-diary-fern-ann-omasta/1122626224?ean=2940153391045

Rowena's Key (The Golden Key Chronicles, Book 1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rowenas-key-aj-nuest/1125091915?ean=9780007550562

Black Keys

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/black-keys-rose-b-mashal/1121950656?ean=2940151929264

Any Other Way

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/any-other-way-michelle-ziegler/1120323077?ean=2940046147742

A Key to Paradise

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/key-to-paradise-barry-rachin/1103651173?ean=2940011138744

Worlds

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/worlds-apart-holly-mortimer/1122843149?ean=2940152733112

Learning to Live

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/learning-to-live-brenda-kennedy/1125456240?ean=2940153949352

Starr's Awakening & Hearths of Fire (Red Starr, Book One)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/starrs-awakening-hearths-of-fire-kennedy-layne/1123276532?ean=2940152831658

Red at Night

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/red-at-night-katie-mcgarry/1117445640?ean=9781460317921

CHRISTIAN/ CLEAN/ HISTORIC

Brighter than Gold (Rogues Go West, Book 1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/brighter-than-gold-cynthia-challed-wright/1013000298?ean=2940013937710

Irish Meadows

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/irish-meadows-susan-anne-mason/1120581749?ean=9781441228567

The Golden Key

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/golden-key-jeanne-page/1103096334?ean=2940011100772

Afton

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/afton-of-margate-castle-angela-elwell-hunt/1100417156?ean=2940149392711

Edge of Light

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/edge-of-light-ann-shorey/1100375936?ean=9781441203632

Hero's Promise

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-heros-promise-roseanna-m-white/1117746672?ean=9780736959186

Fairchild

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fairchilds-lady-roseanna-m-white/1115299800?ean=9780736958912

Roads

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/roads-of-strife-mr-arturo-miriello/1115689542?ean=2940148780854

Prejudiced

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/prejudiced-alyssa-skinner/1125328061?ean=2940157288549

Street

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/street-of-angels-joe-derkacht/1027647036?ean=2940011119620

A Chance

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-chance-for-love-d-l-biranen/1125684054?ean=2940154053157

Deck

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-deck-of-fools-miranda-meyers/1125333427?ean=2940154245972

Deja Vu

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-d-j-vu-wedding-mario-v-farina/1125436345?ean=2940153943756

Glimmer

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-glimmer-of-hope-julie-lessman/1124495614?ean=2940153324265

FICTION

Red Badge

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-red-badge-of-courage-crane-stephen/1123153926?ean=9789176370643

The Stranger and Other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-stranger-and-other-stories-glen-robinson/1116893934?ean=2940045261197

Walden

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/walden-or-life-in-the-woods-thoreau-henry-david/1123848187?ean=9789176371312

Dr. North's Wound and Other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dr-norths-wound-and-other-stories-john-dodds/1101575148?ean=2940000825884

Seafood and Other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seafood-and-other-stories-andre-farant/1110361709?ean=2940033139224

Lazarus Key

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/lazarus-key-gilbert-m-stack/1106696208?ean=2940152565980

Collision

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/collision-ka-sterritt/1122759888?ean=2940152668544

Murphy

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/murphys-law-mark-souza/1106974002?ean=2940032811176

Shadows In The Dark and Other Stories

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shadows-in-the-dark-and-other-stories-manoj-nair/1121320880?ean=2940046602432

Law Links (The Three Lands)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/law-links-dusk-peterson/1113921235?ean=2940154404942

SPIRITUALITY/ PHILOSOPHY/ RELIGION

Relax

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/relax-youre-going-to-die-tai-sheridan-phd/1115304873?ean=2940033018406

The Law and the Prophets

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-law-and-the-prophets-frederick-hoehn/1122528245?ean=2940151148610

The Most Important Thing You can do The Key to a worthwhile life

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-most-important-thing-you-can-do-the-key-to-a-worthwhile-life-deborah-aghimien/1119971532?ean=2940045635431

Psalms In the Key of my Life

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/psalms-in-the-key-of-my-life-carol-shelton-moye/1120132429?ean=2940150335158

DOLPHIN MIRACLE plus your own key to LIVING MIRACLES

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dolphin-miracle-plus-your-own-key-to-living-miracles-victor-e-villase-or/1118925421?ean=9781939116819

Love

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-is-the-law-alc/1123471799?ean=2940152875294

The Ultimate Law of the Creator

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ultimate-law-of-the-creator-c-michelle-gonzalez/1117785907?ean=2940045530620

Israel-Messianic-Law

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/israel-messianic-law-john-c-fenn/1123047695?ean=2940152488081

Freed

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/freed-from-the-law-to-serve-god-in-the-spirit-peter-newman/1125784211?ean=2940154220504

Beyond Murphy's Law

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/beyond-murphys-law-george-anderson/1115550874?ean=2940044562080

Law Of Attraction Collection (Law Of Attraction Series, #7)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/law-of-attraction-collection-scott-soloff/1120337362?ean=2940046240283

MYSTERY/ THRILLER

Trouble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trouble-at-the-red-pueblo-liz-adair/1119934859?ean=2940153025728

Going Down With the Ship

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/going-down-with-the-ship-eric-douglas/1122703504?ean=2940152370546

Still Life

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/still-life-with-murder-pb-ryan/1100643724?ean=2940045631624

No Place

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/no-place-to-die-jaden-skye/1126170839?ean=2940157567491

Blake Pierce

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/blake-pierce-blake-pierce/1123827602?ean=2940156765188

Live and Let

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/live-and-let-diet-morgana-best/1123596671?ean=2940152828764

Escape

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/escape-a-new-life-david-antocci/1122220317?ean=2940157581541

Another Stab

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/another-stab-at-life-anita-higman/1102111396?ean=2940154736579

Gone The Next (Roy Ballard Mysteries, #1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gone-the-next-ben-rehder/1113017466?ean=2940152168969

Ink Red Dead

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ink-red-dead-joanna-campbell-slan/1122518932?ean=2940152272444

Once Gone

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/once-gone-blake-pierce/1123127161?ean=2940157790318

SPECULATION / THEORIES

The Ultimate Key for Unifying Science and Spirituality

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ultimate-key-for-unifying-science-and-spirituality-robert-r-miller/1112408013?ean=9781105847820

The Master Key Psychological Chart

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-master-key-psychological-chart-anthony-michalski/1118522793?ean=2940148172178

COVER ART

Bearing

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bearing-it-all-lynn-red/1118923373?ean=2940152673746

Red Moon

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/red-moon-elizabeth-kelly/1116840376?ean=2940045246668

A Life

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-life-worth-fighting-brenda-kennedy/1121847144?ean=2940151899987

Horns

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/horns-for-the-harem-girl-lynn-red/1121963735?ean=2940152255379

Going

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/going-down-easy-carly-phillips/1123654237?ean=2940157002855

PSYCHOLOGY

Gratitude

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-gratitude-attitude-the-first-how-to-be-happy-key-jem-friar/1125996225?ean=2940154306314

The Key

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-key-relenski-zortac/1124182518?ean=2940154221525

The 20 Key Principles of Goal Setting

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-20-key-principles-of-goal-setting-drew-pierce/1113575244?ean=2940044971998

Interpreting Procrastination; Key to Success, Happiness and Wellness

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/interpreting-procrastination-key-to-success-happiness-and-wellness-wasif-haq/1125470986?ean=9781365648717

HUMOR

Questionable Wisdom: Things I've Learned, Stuff I've Encountered, and a Large Pile of Random Words

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/questionable-wisdom-charles-key/1117105304?ean=9781304306937

The Great American Pee Fight And Other True Stories Of The 50's

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-american-pee-fight-and-other-true-stories-of-the-50s-joseph-dimari/1114301993?ean=2940045116060

 POETRY

Whole

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-whole-lotta-beautiful-and-other-poems-of-love-jason-wallace/1122112527?ean=2940151966993

"In the Weave of Night" and Other Sonnets

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-the-weave-of-night-and-other-sonnets-daniel-hargrove/1121156452?ean=2940046554793
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