Thursday, February 28, 2019

Joke of the day

.
.
.
Did you hear about the new restaurant called "Karma"?


There's no menu, you get what you deserve.

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
Threads of The War, Volume III: Personal Truth Inspired Flash-Fiction of The 20th Century's War

https://www.amazon.com/Threads-War-III-Personal-Flash-Fiction-ebook/dp/B01DUTG2T0/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=Threads+of+The+War%2C+Volume+III%3A+Personal+Truth+Inspired+Flash-Fiction+of+The+20th+Century%27s+War&qid=1551354537&s=digital-text&sr=1-1-fkmrnull

Monday Yoga

https://www.amazon.com/Monday-Yoga-Pranayam-Sukshma-Asanas-starting-ebook/dp/B011SI6MK4/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Monday+Yoga&qid=1551354805&s=digital-text&sr=1-1-catcorr

Mountain, Water, Rock, God: Understanding Kedarnath in the Twenty-First Century

https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Water-Rock-God-Understanding-ebook/dp/B07KXN6CRQ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Mountain%2C+Water%2C+Rock%2C+God%3A+Understanding+Kedarnath+in+the+Twenty-First+Century&qid=1551355141&s=digital-text&sr=1-1-catcorr

The International Business Dress Code

https://www.amazon.com/International-Business-INTERNATIONAL-BUSINESS-LANGUAGE-ebook/dp/B06WW58619/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+International+Business+Dress+Code&qid=1551355243&s=digital-text&sr=1-1-catcorr

Raw Food Diet

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Healthy-FAST-Food-Diet-ebook/dp/B00ZDAO5EY/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=Get+Healthy+FAST+with+the+Raw+Food+Diet%3A+Raw+Vegan+Recipes+and+Strategies&qid=1551355533&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull

Aurora, The Goddess of Dawn, Burns: A Slim Calhoun, Bull Morrison Western

https://www.amazon.com/Aurora-Goddess-Dawn-Burns-Morrison-ebook/dp/B07JBM3BBJ/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=Aurora%2C+The+Goddess+of+Dawn%2C+Burns%3A+A+Slim+Calhoun%2C+Bull+Morrison+Western&qid=1551355776&s=digital-text&sr=1-1-fkmrnull

Easy Vegan Recipes From Appetizer to Desserts

https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Vegan-Recipes-Appetizer-Desserts-ebook/dp/B07LC4RJLG/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=Easy+Vegan+Recipes+From+Appetizer+to+Desserts&qid=1551356109&s=digital-text&sr=1-2-spell

.
.
.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Bonus Joke

.
.
.
An underworld type walked into a deli, stood in front of a big ham on the counter and said to the deli owner, "That's a nice ham ya got there. It would be a shame if somebody put an "s" in front of it and an "e" behind it."

.
.
.

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Little old lady. …

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel.

-------------------

Why did the dresser win an art award?

Because it had good drawers.

====================

Why was the mushroom invited to all the parties?

Because he was a fungi!


.
.
.


Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
A mother and father brought their brand new baby home from the hospital. When it needed a diaper change, the father said, “You do this one, honey. I'll get the next one.” The next time the baby needed changing, the woman brought it to her husband. He looked at her and explained, “Oh, I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.”

==============

=================
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
A pear.
A pear who?
A-pear-antly your doorbell is broken!


.
.
.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Joke of the day

.
.
.
Questions to Ponder Upon …

Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

Why can we drink a drink but not food a food?

Is there another word for synonym?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

How do they get deer to cross at those yellow signs?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

.
.
.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Kindle

.
.
.
Iron Spy: The True Story of the Greatest Double Agent in World War II (Espionage)

https://www.amazon.com/Iron-Spy-Greatest-Double-Espionage-ebook/dp/B07NNXD6RV/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550784627&sr=1-1&keywords=Iron+Spy%3A+The+True+Story+of+the+Greatest+Double+Agent+in+World+War+II+%28Espionage%29

Tai Chi: A Beginner’s Guide to Internal Tai Chi

https://www.amazon.com/Tai-Chi-Beginners-Guide-Internal-ebook/dp/B07NQMLWJ4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550784768&sr=1-1&keywords=Tai+Chi%3A+A+Beginner%E2%80%99s+Guide+to+Internal+Tai+Chi

Veg

https://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Recipes-30-Minutes-Cookbook-ebook/dp/B07N5K86R2/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_32?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=MT3BPN8ZZ3FM7584B6M0

Rommel

https://www.amazon.com/Erwin-Rommel-Beginning-World-Biography-ebook/dp/B06X96TQYX/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_38?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=MT3BPN8ZZ3FM7584B6M0

Cold A Long Time: An Alpine Mystery

https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Long-Time-Alpine-Mystery-ebook/dp/B006DNW4QG/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_45?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=MT3BPN8ZZ3FM7584B6M0

Zapotec

https://www.amazon.com/Zapotec-Civilization-Captivating-Pre-Columbian-Mesoamerica-ebook/dp/B07BLT5BB1/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_57?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ANPAKWCY6P137AWPHJ14

Scottish

https://www.amazon.com/Scottish-History-Captivating-Guide-Scotland-ebook/dp/B07JVWDYKC/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_77?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ANPAKWCY6P137AWPHJ14

Washington

https://www.amazon.com/George-Washington-Captivating-American-President-ebook/dp/B07HY3J9RB/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_100?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ANPAKWCY6P137AWPHJ14

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
A History of Force Feeding: Hunger Strikes, Prisons and Medical Ethics, 1909–1974

https://www.amazon.com/History-Force-Feeding-Strikes-1909-1974-ebook/dp/B07583GF14/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550751139&sr=1-1&keywords=A+History+of+Force+Feeding%3A+Hunger+Strikes%2C+Prisons+and+Medical+Ethics%2C+1909%E2%80%931974

Free books on diverse topics:

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_st_price-asc-rank?keywords=Palgrave+Macmillan&rh=n%3A133140011%2Ck%3APalgrave+Macmillan&qid=1550751217&sort=price-asc-rank

The Witches' Journal: Recipes, spells, poems, tea leaves, candles, familiars, and more... (Witchwood Estate Collectables Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Witches-Journal-familiars-Witchwood-Collectables-ebook/dp/B01AY8O66Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550751772&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Witches%27+Journal%3A+Recipes%2C+spells%2C+poems%2C+tea+leaves%2C+candles%2C+familiars%2C+and+more...+%28Witchwood+Estate+Collectables+Book+1%29

Oils

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073W81KH5/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1

Herbal Magic

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BSZ314M/ref=sxbs_sxwds-stppvp_1?pf_rd_p=82218735-2b20-4c14-b8b7-9b4d6b044350&pd_rd_wg=pM0QI&pf_rd_r=X7CRM1YHCZGWJC6RZM22&pd_rd_i=B01BSZ314M&pd_rd_w=X4nbT&pd_rd_r=bd05a77e-cafa-49eb-99f7-50527edf984d&ie=UTF8&qid=1550751857&sr=1

Wicca

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W6N7KNY/ref=sxbs_sxwds-stppvp_3?pf_rd_p=82218735-2b20-4c14-b8b7-9b4d6b044350&pd_rd_wg=pM0QI&pf_rd_r=X7CRM1YHCZGWJC6RZM22&pd_rd_i=B00W6N7KNY&pd_rd_w=X4nbT&pd_rd_r=bd05a77e-cafa-49eb-99f7-50527edf984d&ie=UTF8&qid=1550751857&sr=3

.
.
.

Joke of the day ...

.
.
.

.
.
.


Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Meme of the day

.
.
.

Humor of the day

.
.
.
Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

I'll deal with you later.

=============

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

=============

Another "winner" of the Bulwar-Lytton bad writing Contest:


The time tunnel was closing rapidly as Betsy Mae frantically dragged her toaster through the opening; morning in the twenty-third century would be a nightmare without Pop Tarts.


Carol Babst, San Jose, CA

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
Maxims and Reflections

https://www.amazon.com/Maxims-Reflections-Johann-Wolfgang-Goethe-ebook/dp/B004TPRP00/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550576402&sr=1-2&keywords=Maxims+and+Reflections

Assyrian Empire


https://www.amazon.com/Assyrian-History-Captivating-Assyrians-Mesopotamia-ebook/dp/B07HKXNR6W/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1550576622&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Assyrian+History%3A+A+Captivating+Guide+to+the+Assyrians+and+Their+Powerful+Empire+in+Ancient+Mesopotamia

.
.
.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Bonus Meme

.
.
.


Bonus Joke

.
.
.
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

.
.
.


Joke of the day

.
.
.
Me: Is this birdcage made of nickel?

Pet Store: I believe it's made entirely of aluminum.

Me: So there's no nickel in this cage?

Pet Store: Don't you dare!

Me: So it's a nickeless cage?

Pet Store: GET OUT!

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
Swords in Their Hands: George Washington and the Newburgh Conspiracy

https://www.amazon.com/Swords-Their-Hands-Washington-Conspiracy-ebook/dp/B016VBNA26/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550404191&sr=1-1&keywords=Swords+in+Their+Hands%3A+George+Washington+and+the+Newburgh+Conspiracy

A Green One for Woody

https://www.amazon.com/Green-One-Woody-Patrick-OSullivan-ebook/dp/B00C6NHM6E/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550404299&sr=1-1&keywords=Pisgah+Press%2C+LLC

Trang Sen: A Novel of Vietnam

https://www.amazon.com/Trang-Sen-Vietnam-Sarah-Ann-Smith-ebook/dp/B00VP5PD2Y/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550404299&sr=1-3&keywords=Pisgah+Press%2C+LLC

.
.
.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Jokes of the day ...

.
.
.
I wasn't able to make a reservation at the library. They were completely booked.

===================

How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

He walks.

JK, Rolling.

===================


The police were called to a kidnapping at school but when they got there everything was OK because the child woke up.

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
An intriguing debut graphic novel, Sonora Pass proves a genuine gem with author Jaime Olmos and illustrator Kevin Nichols pulling out all the stops to deliver a corker of a story.

https://www.amazon.com/SONORA-PASS-Jaime-Olmos-ebook/dp/B071GM994S/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550319060&sr=1-2&keywords=Sonora+Pass

The Game of Life and How to Play It, published in 1925, teaches the philosophies of its author, Florence Scovel Shinn

https://www.amazon.com/Game-Life-How-Play-Universe-ebook/dp/B07NLJGGG9/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Comedy of Errors

https://www.amazon.com/Comedy-Errors-William-Shakespeare-ebook-dp-B07NLHPBQW/dp/B07NLHPBQW/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=

Molly (zombie)

https://www.amazon.com/Molly-Beginning-Zombie-Instinct-Book-ebook/dp/B07B9JFNXY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1550318980&sr=1-2

The Perks of Aging

https://www.amazon.com/Perks-Aging-Blessings-Convenient-Half-Truths-ebook/dp/B00VFAFAAE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1550318665&sr=1-1&keywords=the+perks+of+aging

Washington

https://www.amazon.com/Father-His-Country-Washington-Quick-Read-ebook/dp/B00OZYJ56C/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Veg

https://www.amazon.com/Plant-Based-Cookbook-Beginners-Plant-based-ebook/dp/B07KMG7XH4/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=



.
.
.

Friday, February 15, 2019

B&N FREE FRIDAY SELECTION

.
.
.
The Look of Love (The Sullivans, Book 1)


https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-look-of-love-bella-andre/1103655095?ean=2940013597389


.
.
.

Free Nook Books

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
This is a constantly updating list of free Nook Books. The categories are on the left side of the page.



.
.
.

Joke of the day

.
.
.
Me: I'm having a really good day except for newpussycat.

Friend: What's newpussycat?

Me: WHOAAAAA WHOAAAA OOOOOOHHHH

.
.
.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Grammar, what big eyes you have!

.
.
.
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Falling slowly, slowly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

.
.
.

Bonus Joke

.
.
.
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast every morning?


A big bowl of surreal.


.
.
.

Question of the day

.
.
.
Did you ever feel like you're in Season 5 of your life and the writers have run out of ideas so now they're just making up preposterous stuff to keep it interesting?

.
.
.

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
=============
What did the water say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
=====================
What kind of flower has a fierce roar?
Dandelions
---------------------
What always goes up, but never comes down?
Your age.
========================
What has holes but holds lots of water?
A sponge
----------------
What falls but doesn't get hurt?
Rain
------------
.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
Sergeant Shenk's Book on Knife Throwing

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B004A159YW

The Most Terrifying Places on Earth: Searching Through the World's Most Horrifying and Scary Locations

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B00ZSCWDWS

English Civil War: A History From Beginning to End

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B01M70PHTW

.
.
.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
-------------------------
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
=======================
What does a guy with no brain have?
No idea
-------------------
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Iran.
Iran who?
Iran all the way here and boy am I tired. ...
=====================
Why Cinderella was never picked for the soccer team?
Because she runs away from the ball.
-------------------
What did the right ear say to the left ear?
Between the two of us, we've got some brains.
====================
Why is it impossible to play a card game in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
---------------------
What kind of flower is really good at getting their picture taken?
Posies
================
What did the budding astronomer spot in a pan on the stove?
An unidentified frying object
--------------------
.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
The Man in the Iron Mask

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B07NLH82S7

Intersections: Six Tales of Ouija Horror

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B01N97S2O5

Palmistry: A Beginners Guide to Palmistry

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B00OBPUC2Q

Right Ho, Jeeves: Jeeves & Wooster Series

http://www.dailyfreebooks.com/bookinfo.php?book=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3QvQjA3S0ZKNUxIMi8/dGFnPWRhaWx5ZmItMjA=

.
.
.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Oh Rudolph!

.
.
.


Or maybe this is a bank and they're waiting for their doe.

.
.
.


Advice of the day ....

.
.
.
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

.
.
.

Jokes of the day ...

.
.
.
Two matches see a needle.

“Look out, a robot!

============

What did the human canon ball say just before his first job?

Please don't fire me!

=====================

Who has the easiest job in the world?

Candle makers, because they only work on wick-ends

---------------------

Why was everyone ignoring the tether ball pole on the rainy day?

It was just a stick in the mud.

==================

How did Detective Quasimodo know how to solve the crime?

He had a hunch.

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
Maya

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B01M05E35G

Amsterdam Exposed: An American's Journey Into The Red Light District

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079HFLR4L

Magnesium

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B00W382GCM

The Texas Women of Spirit Trilogy ( Christian)

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B01IUUWH9I

Hope's Bakery: A Contemporary Christian Romance (Magnolia Harbor Book 1)

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B0738JVKWH

Ambush in Dust Creek (Lincoln Hawk Book 1)

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B00JC0F11W

The Invisible Man

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B00L01GJ6M

Felicity and the Damaged Reputation: A witty, sweet Regency Romance

https://go.ereaderiq.com/us/w/B07GMXDRCM

El Lazo - the lasso: A Clint Ryan Western

http://www.dailyfreebooks.com/bookinfo.php?book=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3QvQjAwM1QwRlczOC8/dGFnPWRhaWx5ZmItMjA=

.
.
.
.