Jokes and stuff

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What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

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Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

— Epicurus

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"When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore."

— Elizabeth Gilbert

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“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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"If you're going to rise, you might as well shine."

~ Summerlyn Powers ~

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{*-*} - Rigorous Exercise for Over 60's

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

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