Jokes and stuff

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Bricks

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Executive Management.

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She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

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I used to be a banker, but I eventually lost interest.

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Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

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A bacteria walks into a concert hall while they're setting up the sound equipment. The bouncer at the door stops him and says to him "Sorry you can't come in here." The bacteria responds "but I'm Staph."

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“My formula for life is very simple: in the morning, wake up; at night, go to sleep. In between I try and occupy myself as best I can.”

― Cary Grant

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Four college students weren’t prepared for an exam, and decided to skip it and ask for a make-up exam, explaining to the professor that their car had a flat tire on the way to class that day. The professor agreed to a make-up, at which time he seated the four students in separate corners of the room and wrote one exam question on the chalkboard. The question was, "Which tire?"

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.”

― Reba McEntire

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Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

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How do you repair a broken tomato?

Tomato Paste.

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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

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