Jokes and stuff

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Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."

— Ellen DeGeneres

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"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."

— Guillaume Apollinaire

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“I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”

― Steven Wright

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Which snakes are the best at math?

Adders!

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Why didn't the igloo have a couch?

So polar bears couldn’t hide behind it!

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Would You Like to Join...

*The Yoko Club? Oh no.

*The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.

*The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.

*The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?

*The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.

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"The way to get people's votes is to say that all their problems are caused by other people, and that you will stop those other people from giving them trouble. But if you really want to help, then you can tell them the truth and risk losing their votes."

Thomas Sowell Quotes

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A river cuts through rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence.

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