Jokes of the day

.
.
.
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint… “I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints.

===========

What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

===========

A family was in the social hall at their church. The little boy overheard his father complaining that all there was to eat with their coffee was doughnuts.

The boy tapped his father and said, “Dad, they have to have doughnuts after church.”

 “Why?” asked his father.

 “Because they're hole-y.”

=============================

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel.

============

Did you hear about the man that was a compulsive gambler? His wife left him. Now, all he can think about is how he can win her back.

=====================

You wouldn't believe who I bumped into when I was going to visit my eye doctor.

Who?

Everybody! I couldn’t see!

=================

I once asked my North Korean friend what it was like living there. He said he can’t complain.

====================

Do you know why the physics teacher broke up with the biology teacher? Because they lacked chemistry.

==================

Why was the cat staring at the computer?

It was stalking the mouse.

==================
Why did the dog dive into the pond?

He was chasing a catfish.

======================

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

===================
.
.
.
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle. - Samuel Butler (1612-1680)

.
.
.