Jokes and stuff

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Stop feeling bad for outgrowing people who had the chance to grow with you.

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Keep shining, beautiful one. The world needs your light.

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What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

See Kelp.

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Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear to be intelligent until they open their mouth.

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My dad told me we shouldn’t dress for the job we have, but dress for the job we want. I turned up for my job interview dressed as Batman.

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Apple is working on launching a new i-Car - an automatic car that can drive itself. But rumors are that they have a lot of trouble installing windows.

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How does Moses make tea?

Hebrews it!

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What can go up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up?

An umbrella

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Grandma asked me if I liked the book she got me for my birthday. I told her I'd tell her as soon as I figured out how to turn it on

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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Two lumps of coal were talking at work.

"I hear Fred's become a diamond."

"Yeah, he's been under a lot of pressure."

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Don't put the key to your happiness in somebody else's pocket.

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All the problematic people in our lives show us just exactly who we do NOT want to be.

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Worry, it keeps you moving but it doesn't get you anywhere.

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