Jokes and stuff

.
.
.
A person who really values you wouldn't ever put themselves in a position to lose you.

=======

Where you are headed is more important than where you have been, that's why the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view mirror.

========

Stars can't shine without darkness.

==========

You will never meet a strong person who has an easy past.

=============

An obstacle is often a stepping stone.

========

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

============

A Roman walks into a bar and says "I'll have a martinus."

The bartender looks at him weird before saying, "You mean 'martini?'"

The Roman answers, "If I wanted two, I would have asked for them!"

==================

Knock knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry it's just a joke !

===================

What cut the Roman Republic in two?

A pair of Caesars.

==================

What do you get when you cross silence with.......wait what was I saying?

------------------

On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?

About nine and three quarters.

=================

Knock-knock
Who's there?
You Know
You Know Who?
Exactly!

===================

What has arms and legs but can't walk or wave?

A chair

===================

A little boy was looking at his family's old bible. As he flipped through it, he found a dried leaf that had been pressed between the pages. His mom asked him what he had there.

He answered, “I think it's Adam's underwear!”

==========

"Who are we, who is each one of us, if not a combination of experiences, information, books we have read, things imagined? Each life is an encyclopedia, a library, an inventory of objects, a series of styles, and everything can be constantly shuffled and reordered in every way conceivable."
— Italo Calvino

=========

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

============

A sweater I bought picked up too much static electricity so I took it back to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

( I was shocked by their excellent service. So it wasn't a negative experience. )

.
.
.