Jokes of the day

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A bank teller asked a guy who was withdrawing cash. “How do you want the money?”

Man: “I want it very much.”

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Passenger I don’t see the point of having schedules on train arrivals and departures if they are always late.

Conductor: If there wasn’t any schedule, you wouldn’t know that the train is not on time.

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Can a kangaroo can jump higher than a house?

Of course it can. A house can't jump.

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Joe: After years and years of studying, I have finally managed to get a PhD

Bill: Wow, that’s cool. I didn't even know you went to college. What was your major?

Joe "None, I meant Pizza Hut delivery.

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you.

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Why did the computer have to wear glasses?

To fix its web site.

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When is a green book not a green book?

When it's read (red)

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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Silver and Gold walk into a bar.

Bartender says "‘Ey you, get outta here!"

Gold leaves the bar.

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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it

~ Charles R. Swindoll
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