Jokes of the day

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A man approaches two women sitting at a table in a club.

The man says to one of the ladies: "Would you like to dance? "

Lady: "Sure!"

Man: "Then go ahead and dance. I want to talk to your friend."

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Wondered what you would get if you mixed a sheep with a kangaroo.

Why! I would get a woolly jumper

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A wife complained to her husband. “Look at that couple on the other side of the shop. He is holding her hand and kissing her, why can’t you do the same?"

Man: “Are you mad? I don’t even know the woman!

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What do you think a cloud that has an itchy rash does?

It finds out the nearest skyscraper.

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Why did the girl think the tall clock was sad?

It had a long face.

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Sarah and Jason were digging for worms in their grandma's garden. Jason found one that had lots of legs. He held it up to show Sarah.

She said, “That's not an earthworm!”

Jason frowned and asked, “Then what planet is it from?”

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.

The Photon replies "No I’m traveling light"

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What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 metres long?

A πthon.

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What has two butts and kills people?

An assassin.

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