Jokes and stuff

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"No matter how honest scientists think they are, they are still influenced by various unconscious assumptions that prevent them from attaining true objectivity. Expressed in a sentence, Fort's principle goes something like this: People with a psychological need to believe in marvels are no more prejudiced and gullible than people with a psychological need not to believe in marvels."

— Colin Wilson (Mysteries)

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"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses."

— Henry Ford

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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During a Sabbath service a rabbi is seized by a sudden wave of humility, prostrates himself and cries out, “God, before you I am nothing!”

The cantor is so moved by this demonstration of piety that he throws himself to the floor beside the rabbi and cries, “God, before you I am nothing!”

Watching this scene unfold from his seat in the first row, the chairman of the synagogue’s trustees jumps up, flops down in the aisle and cries, “God, before you I am nothing!”

The rabbi nudges the cantor and whispers, “So look who thinks he’s nothing!”

(This ancient yarn is known to Talmudic scholars as Jewish Joke No. 73 )

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Whatever you do always give 100% .. unless you're donating blood.

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A mother and father brought their brand new baby home from the hospital. When it needed a diaper change, the father said, “You do this one, honey. I'll get the next one.”

 The next time the baby needed changing, the woman brought it to her husband. He looked at her and explained, “Oh, I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.”

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The womens soccer team was worried after a hole was found in the wall of the locker room

The police are looking into it.

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Once a man lost his luggage when he was travelling. He decided to sue the company. He lost his case.

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Do you know what do we call a fish with an eye missing?

We call it fsh.

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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
No one.
No one who?
.....Silence.....

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A volunteer knocked on our door yesterday seeking a small donation for the community swimming pool. I gave him a pitcher of water.

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Stop feeling bad for outgrowing people who had the chance to grow with you.


Keep shining, wonderful one. The world needs your light.

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