Jokes and stuff

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“What a sad era when it is easier to smash an atom than a prejudice.”

― Albert Einstein

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“I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.”

― Albert Einstein

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“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

― Albert Einstein

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“Real men don’t use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.”

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Q: What happened to the plant in math class?

A: It grew square roots

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Question: What is the one vegetable you should never bring on a boat?

Answer: A leek.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

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“I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.”

― Steven Wright

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"If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true."

— Judy Sheindlin

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"Crazy Horse dreamed and went into the world where there is nothing but the spirits of all things. That is the real world that is behind this one, and everything we see here is something like a shadow from that one."

— Nicholas Black Elk (Black Elk Speaks: Being the Life Story of a Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux)

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What do you call a baby hippo that can’t use the bathroom properly?

A hippo-potty-mess!

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What did the adult snake say to the baby snake with a runny nose?

Viper your nose!

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