Tuesday, June 23, 2020

I rock, do you?

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You might love rocks, minerals, or fossils if:

1. You own more pieces of quartz than underwear.

2. Your rock collection weighs more than you do.

3. Your rock garden is located inside your house.

4. You can pronounce the word ‘molybdenite’ correctly on the first try.

5. You don’t think of “cleavage” the same way everyone else does.

6. You think the primary function of road cuts is tourist attractions.

7. You find yourself compelled to examine individual rocks in driveway gravel.

8. You’re planning on using a pick and shovel while you’re on vacation

9. You have ever found yourself trying to explain to airport security that a rock hammer isn’t really a weapon.

10. You never throw away anything.

11. You have ever taken a 17-passenger van over “roads” that were really intended only for cattle.

12. You consider a “recent event” to be anything that has happened in the last hundred thousand years.

13. You have ever had to respond “yes” to the question, “What have you got in here, rocks?”

14. You associate the word “saw” with diamonds instead of “wood”.

15. You have ever been on a field trip that included scheduled stops at a gravel pit and/or a liquor store.

16. You have ever hung a picture using a Brunton/Compass-clinometer as a level.

17. You can be found using your hand lens at churches and government buildings.

18. Your photos include people only for scale and you have more pictures of your rock hammer and lens cap than your family.

19. Your spelling checker has a vocabulary that includes the words ‘polymorph’ and ‘pseudomorph’.

20. You have ever uttered the phrase ‘have you tried licking it’ with no sexual connotations involved.

21. You made fossils out of clay as a kid.

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Rocks on the tables
Rocks on the floor
Rocks in the kitchen
Rocks by the door
Rocks in the bookcase
Rocks on the windowsills
Rocks hold the doors still
Rocks in the bathroom
Rocks on the table
Got all the rocks
That I have been able
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