Jokes and stuff

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“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”

― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

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“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

― Albert Einstein

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

― Albert Einstein

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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

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“What's another word for thesaurus?”

― Steven Wright

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At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a magician with wings?

A flying sorcerer.

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What did the big flower say to the little flower?

How are ya, bud?

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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive you!

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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Somebody too short to ring the doorbell.

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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here!

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One minute you're staying up all night partying with your friends, then, in the blink of an eye, you're drinking water and taking it easy because you pulled a muscle putting on your socks.

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