Jokes of the day ..

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Why did all of Dracula's friends leave him at the party?

He was being a pain in the neck.

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Who did the zombie bring to the dance?

His ghoul friend.

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What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?

A centipede with sore feet.

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What do you call a serpent with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops!

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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One smile has the power to...

Calm fears.
Warm a cold heart.
Invite a new friend.
Beautify the bearer.
Lighten heavy loads.
Promote good deeds.
Brighten a gloomy day.
Comfort a grieving spirit.
Offer hope to the forlorn.
Send a message of caring.
Lift the downtrodden soul.
Patch up invisible wounds.
Weaken the hold of misery.
Act as medicine for suffering.
Fulfill the human need for recognition.

— Richelle E. Goodrich

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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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“People who talk incessantly about 'change' are often dogmatically set in their ways. They want to change other people.”

~ Thomas Sowell

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"You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible."

~ Thomas Sowell 

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