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"Bruce, list me five things that contain milk."
"Okay — cheese, butter, cream and .. um ....two cows!"
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Teacher: "Kids, I’m very disappointed in you! I asked you to write an essay on a famous person, and all of you wrote essays on Beyonce, Rihanna and Lady Gaga! Has anyone of you ever heard of Marie Curie?"
All the children start to laugh.
Teacher: "What did I say that was funny?"
Children: "Teacher, you said ‘Marie Curie,’ but it’s pronounced ‘Mariah Carey!’
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What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
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What do you get when you mix a black dog with a white dog?
A greyhound
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Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because of its bark
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