Saturday, May 21, 2016

Jokes of the Day ....

(*_*) - Ageing with a Smile

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.



--It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

--A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

--Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

--If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

--Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

--An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

--It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

--When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

--No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

--When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

--Any lock can be picked by a credit card or paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

--Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

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