Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Jokes and stuff

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(😊) - 80 Year Old Couple Texting

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.

She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her:

"I'm in the bathroom. Please advise." 

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Question: What did the spider want for Christmas? 

Answer: A web-site!

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Question: What do elves do after school?

Answer: Their Gnomework.

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Question: Why did the thermometer break? 

Answer: The temperature dropped!

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Question: What does Santa Claus plant in his garden? 

Answer: Christmas bulbs!

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Question: Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?

Answer: At Wool-Mart!

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Question: Why was the computer quiet on Christmas Eve? 

Answer: Because, not a creature was stirring… not even a mouse!

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“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

― Mark Twain

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"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." 

— Oscar Wilde


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