.
.
.
Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A. A stick!
===============
Q. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
============
Q. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
A. An ear of corn.
================
Can You Solve This Mystery?:
A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his apartment. Why?
Solution: The man is a dwarf. He can’t reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
============
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A two-foot putt .. who the he!! misses a two-foot putt?
==============
“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
===========
“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”
― Mark Twain
===========
Sign in toy store: Don't feed the animals. They are already stuffed.
===========
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
========
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
========
Q. How do you get a mouse to smile?
A. Say cheese!!...
=====================
Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's pop corn?"...
=============
What's yellow.... Has four legs.. Flies.. And weighs a 1000 pounds?
Two 500 pound Canaries
==============
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
================
When does the alphabet only have 24 letters?
When U and I aren't there!
No comments:
Post a Comment