Jokes of the day ...

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Did you hear about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They said it was a grizzly accident.


I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.


A pediatrician is a doctor of little patients.


What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can't venom all.


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A piece of string walked into a bar and said "Gimme a beer!" but the bartender said "Get outta here! We don't serve your kind here!"

So the string left, but he was thirsty, and he really wanted a beer, so he messed up his hair real badly and looped himself around until he had tied himself into a knot.

When the string went back into the bar, the bartender looked at him suspiciously and said "Aren't you that worthless piece of string I just threw outta here?"

"No", the string replied, "I'm a frayed knot!"

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