Jokes and stuff

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Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Goat

Goat Who?

Goat to the door and find out.

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What do vampires take when they catch a cold? 

Coffin medicine! 

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What do you call a baby hippo that can’t use the bathroom properly? 

A hippo-potty-mess! 

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What do you call a loud, shouting elephant?

A YELL-EPHANT!!!

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“I am human and I need to be loved,

just like everybody else does.” 

― Morrissey

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“A metaphor is like a simile.”

― Steven Wright

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“I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.”

“I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink it

here or there, I will not drink it anywhere,” I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps.

“Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?” 

― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

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“So she sat on with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

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