Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Jokes and stuff

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The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.

"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.

"Around three hundred bucks," replied the young man.

Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay - now get out and don't come back!"

Without a word the young man turned around and quickly left the building. 

Turning to one of the supervisors, the owner said "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"

"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"

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Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? 

A: A pie-thon!

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“It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” 

― Jerry Seinfeld

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One eye says to the other eye, "Between you and me, something smells."

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The success we have in helping children become readers will depend not so much on our technical skills but upon the spirit we transmit of ourselves as readers.

Aidan Chambers

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For some people "normal" is like their country of origin. They speak it, think it, and live it. It is easy for them to be normal, to lead a normal life, get a normal job, have normal relationships.

But for others, normal is like a far distant land, something they can read about or recognize, but impossible to find. I was one of those others. Somewhere over the rainbow was normal, but you can't get there from here.

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.

- Outer Limits (2001)


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