Sunday, January 3, 2021

Jokes and stuff




Husband:    My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Officer:    Age?

Husband:    I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60.  We don't do birthdays.

Officer:   Height?

Husband:     I'm not sure.  A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER :   Weight?

Husband:     Don't know.  Not slim, not really fat.

OFFICER :    Color of eyes?

Husband:    Sort of brown I think.

OFFICER :    Color of hair?

Husband:   Changes a couple times a year.  Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

OFFICER :    What was she wearing?

Husband:    Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts.  I don't know exactly.

OFFICER :    What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:     She went in my truck.

OFFICER :    What kind of truck was it?

Husband :    A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 .with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera,

Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning.  It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch,

sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets.  I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.

It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.

 At this point the husband started choking up.

OFFICER   :    Take it easy sir,      We'll find your truck.


Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again? 

He was a dirty double crosser! 


Why did the chicken, the turkey, the duck, and the goose all cross the road? 

For some fowl reason! 


Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? 

It was an early bird!


“There was one great tomb more lordly than all the rest; huge it was, and nobly proportioned. On it was but one word, DRACULA.” 

― Bram Stoker - DRACULA




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