Jokes of the day

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“A metaphor is like a simile.”

― Steven Wright

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Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Goat
Goat Who?
Goat to the door and find out.

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The Marine Drill Instructor noticed a new recruit and barked at him, `Get your butt over here ! What's your name?"

"Steve," the new recruit replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart hipster bull they're teaching in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the sergeant scowled.

"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my recruits by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker.

I am to be referred to only as `Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir, Sergeant!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

The recruit sighed "Darling, My name is Steve Darling."

"Okay, Steve, here's what I want you to do ....."

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