Sunday, January 29, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

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(^_^) - Crackerjack Service Department..

It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance for us passengers

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a `gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, and document their repairs on the form,...

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.


Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget

By the way, UPS is the only major airline carrier that has never, ever, had an accident....

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3 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahahaha! Thanks for flying funnies! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your car could be stolen if you don't keep this in mind!

    Consider that your car was taken! When you approach the police, they inquire about a specific "VIN search"

    A VIN decoder: What is it?

    Similar to a passport, the "VIN decoder" allows you to find out when the car was born and who its "parent"( manufacturing plant) is. You can also find out:

    1.The type of engine

    2.Model of a car

    3.The DMV and the limitations it imposes

    4.The number of drivers in this vehicle

    You'll be able to locate the car, and keeping in mind the code ensures your safety. The code can be checked in the database online. The VIN is situated on various parts of the car to make it harder for thieves to steal, such as the first person sitting on the floor, the frame (often in trucks and SUVs), the spar, and other areas.

    What if the VIN is intentionally harmed?

    There are numerous circumstances that can result in VIN damage, but failing to have one will have unpleasant repercussions because it is illegal to intentionally harm a VIN in order to avoid going to jail or the police. You could receive a fine of up to 80,000 rubles or spend two years in prison. You might be stopped on the road by a teacher.

    Conclusion.

    The VIN decoder may help to save your car from theft. But where can you check the car reality? This is why we exist– VIN decoders!

    ReplyDelete