Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

(^_^) - Pay Attention To These Signs - You Might Be Getting Older
You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 96 around the golf course.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You begin every other sentence with, 'Nowadays...'
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You know what the word 'equity' means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You talk about 'good grass' and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for The Weather Channel.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

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