Jokes of the day ....

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What is a bird’s favorite cookie?
Chocolate chirp
-------------------------------
Why do leopards have a hard time hiding?
Because they are always spotted!
--------------------------------------------
What has wheels and a trunk but no engine?
An elephant on roller skates!


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Quote of the day ....

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“And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.”
― George Eliot, Middlemarch


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Jokes of the day ...

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What does a camel use to become invisible?
Camel-flage!
---------------------------
How do turtles talk to each other?
They use shell phones.


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Jokes of the day ...

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Have you heard the latest statistic joke yet?
Probably ...
=====================
What is E.T. short for?
So he can fit in his little spaceship.


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Jokes of the day ...

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What is the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw you one!
------------------------------------------------------
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A Minnie Van!


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ASMR video of the day ...

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Very relaxing, please wear headphones or earbuds ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDE3zvGaWWk


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Shakespearean insults of the day ...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfdJ4vkmwX0&list=PLpcmfuCdOz2ZPt17LAmJ9HaZYplzHOKPo


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Quote of the day ....

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“Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer.”
― Charles M. Schulz


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Joke of the day ...

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When does a baseball player wear armor?
At the knight games!


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Shakespearean Insult of the day ...

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 From Lear: "A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."


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.Castle of the day ....

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Castle of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQckBgR-E98


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Quote of the day ...

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“I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.”
― Demetri Martin


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Jokes of the day ...

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What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?
“Catch you later”
---------------------------------------
Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating?
Because the ice might crack up!


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Shakespearean Insult of the day ..

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“[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!”
― William Shakespeare, Henry IV: Part 1


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Joke of the day .....

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Why should bowling alleys be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!


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Jokes of the day ....

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-------------------------


Question: What’s red and white and goes around and around?


Answer: Santa Claus stuck in a revolving door!


===============


Question: How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?


Answer: One, after that it’s not empty!


----------------------


Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Answer: Frostbite!


-------------------


Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Mary and Abbey.


Mary and Abbey who?


Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

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Quote of the day ...

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“You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.”
― Yogi Berra


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Too true ...

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“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. ”
― Wendell Johnson


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Jokes of the day ....

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-----------------------------------


Question: Why did Santa run around his bed on Christmas morning?


Answer: To catch up on his sleep!


----------------------------


Question: Why did the snowman name his dog Frost?


Answer: Because Frost bites!


----------------------------------


Question: Where do the three wise men get their robes tailored?


Answer: Bethle-HEM!


--------------------------------------------


Question: Why is Santa so good at karate?


Answer: Because he has a black belt!


------------------------------------


Question: What do you get when you cross a peanut with a duck?


Answer: A nut quacker.


----------------------------


Question: What do you call Santa’s helpers?


Answer: Subordinate Clauses.

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Jokes of the day ...

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------------------------------


Question: What did the spider want for Christmas?


Answer: A web-site!


-----------------------------------------


Question: What do elves do after school?


Answer: Their Gnomework.


--------------------------


Question: Why did the thermometer break?


Answer: The temperature dropped!


-----------------------------


Question: What does Santa Claus plant in his garden?


Answer: Christmas bulbs!


----------------------------------


Question: Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?


Answer: At Wool-Mart!


---------------------------


Question: Why was the computer quiet on Christmas Eve?


Answer: Because, not a creature was stirring… not even a mouse!


-----------------------------------.
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Jokes of the day ....

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==========


Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Avery.


Avery who?


Avery Merry Christmas!


--------------------------------


Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a polar bear?


Answer: A brrr-grrr.


---------------------------


Question: What is a snake’s favorite Christmas carol?


Answer: Sssssilver Bells!


---------------------------------


Question: What do elves learn in school?


Answer: The elf-abet.


-----------------------------


Question: Why did Santa get a ticket?


Answer: He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!


------------------------------.
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Jokes of the day .....

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------------------------------
Question: What do you get when you cross a flying saucer with Santa Claus?
Answer: A UF Ho, Ho, Ho!
-----------------------
Question: What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
Answer: “Tis the season to be jelly!”
=============================
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Tree.
Tree who?
Tree Wise Men!
----------------------------
Question: Why does Santa have a garden?
Answer: So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
----------------------------------
Question: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
Answer: A cookie sheet!
---------------------
Question: Which reindeer has bad manners?
Answer: Rude-olph!
------------------------------------
Question: How do snowmen greet each other?
Answer: “Ice to meet you!”
==========


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Jokes of the day ....

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------------------------------


Question: What nationality is Santa Claus?


Answer: North Polish!


-----------------------------


Question: What kind of bird can write?


Answer: A pen-guin


----------------------------


Question: What did the short candle say to the tall candle?


Answer: "I’m going out tonight!"


---------------------------------


Question: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?


Answer: Because he had low elf-esteem.


------------------------------


Question: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo and a cow?


Answer: An Eskimoo!


-----------------------


Question: How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?


Answer: "Fleece Navidad!"


----------------------------


Question: What’s the best Christmas present in the world?


Answer: A broken drum - you just can't beat it.


----------------------------------


Question: What comes at the end of Christmas day?


Answer: The letter "y".


------------------------------.
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Quote of the day ...

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“What you call your personality, you know? --it's not like actual bones, or teeth, something solid. It's more like a flame. A flame can be upright, and a flame can flicker in the wind, a flame can be extinguished so there's no sign of it, like it had never been. ”
― Joyce Carol Oates, I Am No One You Know


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Jokes of the day ...

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----------------------------


Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Irish.


Irish who?


Irish you a Merry Christmas!


--------------------------------


Question: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney?


Answer: Because it soots him!


---------------------------


Question: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? Answer: The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.


--------------------------------


Question: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?


Answer: "I’ll never part with it!"


------------------------------.
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Um ... what?

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“Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground.”
― Jarod Kintz


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Quote of the day ....

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“The written word, obviously, is very inward, and when we're reading, we're thinking. It's a sort of spiritual, meditative activity. When we're looking at visual objects, I think our eyes are obviously directed outward, so there's not as much reflective time. And it's the reflectiveness and the spiritual inwardness about reading that appeals to me.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


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Jokes of the day .....

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----------------------------------


Question: How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?


Answer: He felt his presents.


-------------------------


Knock Knock!


Who’s there?


Donut. Donut who?


Donut open your presents ‘til Christmas!


-----------------------


Question: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?


Answer: In the dictionary!


----------------------------------


Question: Why did Santa buy a brown cow?


Answer: Because he wanted chocolate milk!


------------------------------


Question: Why does Mrs. Claus do her laundry in Tide?


Answer: Because it’s too cold out-tide!


------------------------------


Question: What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?


Answer: You get Tinsel-itis!


--------------------------------------


Question: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?


Answer: Nothing, it was on the house!


-------------------------

Quote of the day ....

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“Writing is a consequence of having been 'haunted' by material. Why this is, no one knows.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


(This is so true. At night, when the moon is just right, I can see Eric's white face in the woods behind my house, looking up at my window with an expression I can not read.)


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Jokes of the day ...

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-------------------------------------------


Question: What kind of candle burns longer , a red candle or a green candle?


Neither, candles burn shorter.


--------------------------------------------


Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?


Answer: Snowflakes!


-----------------------------------


Question: What is the fear of Santa Claus called?


Answer: Claus-trophobia!


----------------------------------.
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Quote of the day ....

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“Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.”
― Lewis Carroll


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Joyce Carol Oates quote of the day ...

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“A daydreamer is prepared for most things.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


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Jokes of the day ....

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----------------------------------------

Question: What goes, "Oh, Oh, Oh?"

Answer: Santa walking backwards!

------------------------------------

Question: Why did the elf put his little wood bed in the fireplace?

Answer: He wanted to sleep like a log!

----------------------------------------

Question: Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor?

Answer: He felt crummy.

--------------------------------------------

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.

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Joyce Carol Oates quote of the day ..

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“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another's skin, another's voice, another's soul.”
― Joyce Carol Oates


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Quote of the day ....

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“I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.”
― Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat


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Joke of the day ...

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Question: What happened when Santa got a parking ticket on his sleigh?
Answer: He got Mistle-towed!


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.Hedges of the day ...

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Hedges of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf_5ZEG092Y


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Quote of the day ....

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“What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic."
[Cosmos, Part 11: The Persistence of Memory (1980)]”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos


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Question of the day ....

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“How is it possible to have a civil war?”
― George Carlin


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas open the door and let me in.


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Joke of the day ..

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with this door?


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.Hedges of the day ....

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Hedges of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxk23JhMKjI


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Quote of the day ....

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“Things to do today:
1) Breathe in.
2) Breathe out.”
― Ned Vizzini


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Too true ...

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“It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”
― Yogi Berra


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
 A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel.


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.Hedges of the day .....

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Hedges of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRQjxc92YuU


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Works for me ....

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“Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap rays. I can't help myself. The fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than I am. I have no choice but to snuggle under the covers.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson


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That's why ...

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Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Handsome
Handsome who?
Handsome one the key so they can open the door!


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Joke of the day ...

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and answer the door!


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.Hedge of the day ....

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Hedge of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7aDbis2gsU


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Quote of the day ....

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“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.”
― Jarod Kintz


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Denial is not just a river in Egypt ...

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“I never said most of the things I said.”
― Yogi Berra


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you opened this door!


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.Tree creatures of the day ....

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Tree creatures of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JYoJRQMSsE


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.Hide the scissors ......

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Hide the scissors ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV-axLPCO38


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Movie quote of the day ...

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Movie quote of the day ....


"The stuff that dreams are made of."

Sam Spade


Humphrey Bogart - The Maltese Falcon - 1941


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Quote of the day ....

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“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but 'That's funny...”
― Isaac Asimov


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have long to wait before we eat?


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.Cake Decorating mistakes of the day ....

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Cake Decorating mistakes of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgl7zpvjWcI


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Joke of the day ...

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toby
Toby who?
Toby or not Toby.


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Too true ...

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“The future ain't what it used to be.”
― Yogi Berra


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up!


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.Ghost photos of the day ....

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Ghost photos of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KAb8Vm-Ot4


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.BBC documentary of the day ....

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BBC documentary of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVZ8EjZOOeo


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Advice of the day ...

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“When you come to a fork in the road take it”
― Yogi Berra


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock
Who's there? 
Sabina !
Sabina who?
Sabina a long time since I've seen you !


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Weird or what?

.
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.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlzyP_MdC1U


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Movie quote of the day ....

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"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast."
 Carl Denham
Robert Armstrong - King Kong 1933


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Quote of the day ....

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“Don't gobblefunk around with words.”
― Roald Dahl


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.Joke of the day ...

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How many skunks does it take to make a bad smell?
A phew.


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.Castle of the day ...

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Castle of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yefw4aa6ErA


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ASMR relaxing video of the day .....

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ASMR relaxing video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MJ4znyNIM8


You will need headphones or ear buds to get the full effect.


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.Need a new hairstyle?.....

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Need a new hairstyle?.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU0ujbR_LNo


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.BBC Documentary of the day ....

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BBC Documentary of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtoUQ_-kwpc


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Movie quote of the day ...

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"My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you."
George M. Cohan
James Cagney - Yankee Doodle Dandy 1942


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How true ...

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“If you don't know where you are going,
you'll end up someplace else.”
― Yogi Berra


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Quote of the day ....

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“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
― Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish


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Movie Quote of the day ...

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"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"
Wicked Witch of the West
Margaret Hamilton
The Wizard of Oz 1939


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Question of the day ....

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“If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld


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Quote of the day ....

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“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
― Winston S. Churchill


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock. .
Who's there?!
B-4 !
B-4 who ?
B-4 I freeze to death, please open this door !


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Quote of the day ....

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“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein


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Joke of the day ..

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Knock Knock !
Who's there?
Freeze!
Freeze who?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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.Merry go round of the day ....

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Merry go round of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED_hS3e_bXE


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.Amazing places of the day ...

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Amazing places of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFdBNJsW46Y


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kent
Kent who?
Kent you tell by my voice?


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here.


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.Snowman of the day ....

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Snowman of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTUmvf__bI


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Quote of the day 2 ...

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“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Quote of the day ....

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“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
― Benjamin Franklin


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Joke of the day ...

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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Freeze!
Freeze who?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!


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Steven Wright quote of the day ...

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“I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”
― Steven Wright


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cash!
Cash who?
No thanks, but I'd like some peanuts!


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pbCr577RI0


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.Reiki healing of the day ....

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Reiki healing of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRM2AY_iF3I


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.Another Bulwer Lytton contest winner ...

.
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.
Another Bulwer Lytton contest winner ... 


“Hmm …” thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish’s bow ties, “time to get my meds checked.”
Andrew Bowers


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Decorate your workplace ...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHvQJXtV1lM


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.Ice be gone 3....

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Ice be gone 3....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LawzNm8yogY


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.Ice be gone 2 ...

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Ice be gone 2 ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD7gp3l8DPc


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.Ice be gone ....

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Ice be gone ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Cd6JRSkEU


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Quote of the day ...

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“I am human and I need to be loved,
just like everybody else does.”
― Morrissey


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Bulwar Lytton winner ...

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On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained.


Rephah Berg
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Grammar tip of the day ...

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“A metaphor is like a simile.”
― Steven Wright


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Joke of the day ....

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Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Goat
Goat Who?
Goat to the door and find out.
.
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.Weird plants of the day ....

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Weird plants ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTfB7FWipWk


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.Need a new hairstyle?

.
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.
Need a new hairstyle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxCS31J4w5M


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Make up tutorial of the day ...

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You might want to take notes ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYLHzr-60dM


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Joke of the day ...

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?
Stop! You're under a vest.


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STORM Cheektowaga, NY

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STORM Cheektowaga, NY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocVIXY3RQ2E


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.Jimmy Stewart tells a joke ...

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Jimmy Stewart tells a joke ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IiICcSH8iY


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Joke of the day .....

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Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?


So as not to wake the sleeping pills..
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Joke of the day ....

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Why do Lawyers wear boxers? Because they can't wear their briefs!


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Poem of the day ......

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“There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
And munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.”
― Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic


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Make up tip of the day ....

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“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.”
― Jerry Seinfeld
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Quote of the day ....

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“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.”
― Steven Wright


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Author's quote of the day ..

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“You have a very open relationship with your fans."


"Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.”
― Neil Gaiman


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Joke of the day ...

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What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY.


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.Clouds of the day ...

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Clouds of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwcMR6uWL9M


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.For those who don't live in Buffalo New York ..

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For those who don't live in Buffalo New York ..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8rp5bpgBG4


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Reading of the day ...

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.


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Ominous quote of the day ....

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My therapist says I seem to be hell-bent on vengeance ............. we'll see about that.

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Joke of the day ...

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.


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Quote of the day ...

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“There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”
― Tom Robbins


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Joke of the day ....

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Dorian Gray jokes, they never get old!


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Law of the day ...

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“The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.”
― Murphy's Law


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Quote of the day ...

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“Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.”
― Ellen DeGeneres


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Daffynition of the day ...

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“A grandmother is someone that pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.”
― Erma Bombeck


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Quote of the day ...

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“It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
― Jerry Seinfeld


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Joke of the day ....

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One eye says to the other eye, "Between you and me, something smells."


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.Clouds of the day ...

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Clouds of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG_feY4iXcM


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Author of the day .....

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“While browsing in a second-hand bookshop one day, George Bernard Shaw was amused to find a copy of one of his own works which he himself had inscribed for a friend: "To ----, with esteem, George Bernard Shaw."


He immediately purchased the book and returned it to the friend with a second inscription: "With renewed esteem, George Bernard Shaw.”
― George Bernard Shaw


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Clarification of the day ....

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“We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”
― Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail


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Quote of the day .....

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“Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded”
― Yogi Berra


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.Dubstep mix of the day ...

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Dubstep mix of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuzFgwa5ERE


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.Clouds of the day ......

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Clouds of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUgqwm4Fyd0


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.Castle of the day ....

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Castle of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQckBgR-E98


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Joke of the day ...

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Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.


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.Castle of the day .....

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Castle of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcrkBKvN0oQ


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.Fall leaf video ....

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Fall leaf video ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pbGVzc4Tg0


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.Cloud video of the day ....

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Cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSsDvJ0ur8w


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Mark Twain quote of the day ....

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“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English―it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them―then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
― Mark Twain


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Joke of the day ....

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A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."


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Linguistic series of the day ...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2I7x-MxP-A&list=PLLOg1X5K0gWJwMNrR08u2pSq3kj3DtFMj


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So interesting!

.Castle of the day .....

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Castle of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUDDsZ2I_gk


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4E9enGqRc


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Why ...

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Why did the football player go to the bank?


To get his quarter back.


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Joke of the day ....

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Mama mouse and baby mouse are walking by a barn at twilight. The baby mouse looks up and sees a bat darting overhead. "Look, Momma!" the baby mouse says, "An angel!"


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.Crystal programming of the day ....

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Crystal programming of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwH90ZRrnrs


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.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gROO7xSTxfY


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Quote of the day ....

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“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How to Build a Boat.”
― Stephen Wright


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Philosophy of the day ..

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“When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?”
― Henry Rollins


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New word of the day ....

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“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
― Tina Fey


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Joke of the day ......

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What do you call shoes made from bananas?
Slippers.


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Quote of the day .....

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“Nothing is so common as the desire to be remarkable.”
― William Shakespeare


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Maxim of the day ....

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All generalizations are false.


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What ....

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.


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Joke of the day ....

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Hyperbole - It's the BEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Quote of the day ....

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“I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.”
― Mary Ann Shaffer


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.Ghost story of the day ....

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Ghost story of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T90QaoHLfzk


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXA0-YAoo9Q


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Garnish of the day ...

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What is green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.


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Joke of the day ....

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? 
Because he had a hole in one.


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Why ....

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Why did the teacher wear sun glasses?


Because the students were very bright!


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.Movie recommendation of the day ....

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Movie recommendation of the day ....


Ice Age (2002)


Back when the Earth was being overrun by glaciers, and animals were scurrying to save themselves from the upcoming Ice Age, a sloth named Sid, a woolly mammoth named Manny, and a saber-toothed tiger named Diego are forced to become unlikely heroes. The three reluctantly come together when they have to return a human child to its father while braving the deadly elements of the impending Ice Age.


(This is a movie I have seen numerous times and always enjoy. Suitable for all ages. )


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Sound of the day ......

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCcT6LKo5Lw&index=2&list=RDlNk1B8H4wmQ


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Quote of the day ....

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"Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody can read."
[As quoted in Literary Censorship in England (in Current Opinion, Vol. 55, No. 5, November 1913)]"
— George Bernard Shaw


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Shakespeare quote of the day ....

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“This royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands,--This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard II


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Observation of the day ....

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"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."
— Robert Frost


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.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l43L8yZcYWY


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Asmr video of the day ...

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You will need headphones or ear buds to get the full effect ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coPKFTqpgJc


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How .....?

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How is a piece of gum like a sneeze?
Its a chew.


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Joke of the day ....

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Why was six afraid of seven?


It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.


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Maxim of the day ....

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Show me a man who always has two feet on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't take his pants off.


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Steven Wright quote of the day ...

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“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
― Steven Wright


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Diet tip of the day ...

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“I cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”
― Yogi Berra


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.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33DWqRyAAUw


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.The answer to the BIG question ....

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The answer to the question ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JElQ79rc-5w


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Quote of the day .....

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“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
― Sam Levenson


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Bright idea of the day ...

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“Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading.”
― Lena Dunham


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Daffynition of the day .....

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Diagnostic: To pass away without knowing if there is a God.


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Joke of the day ....

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Chuck was driving his car home one day when one of the tires went flat.
He stopped at a garage and found an attendant that would plug the leak and pump up the
tire.


"That will be $50," said the attendant when he was finished.



"That's too much for pumping up my tire!" cried Chuck. "Last time I had this problem I was only charged ten bucks!"


The attendant  replied, "Inflation, my good man, inflation!"


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Military observation of the day ..

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“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.”
― Jerry Seinfeld


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Quote of the day ...

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“The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.”
― Anne Lamott


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Joke of the day ...

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A duck and a chicken were standing by the side of the road. The duck started to cross the road but the chicken stopped him.


"Don't do it," the chicken said, "You'll never hear the end of it."


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Movie review of the day ....

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UNDER THE SKIN -




I recently saw this very adult sci-fi movie and would recommend it to those not offended by nudity and disturbing events. It was artistic and atmospheric and brought up some thought provoking questions about outward appearances verses inner content. The first review does not contain spoilers, the second review goes over every plot point to explain what the director might have been saying with the movie. This film was weird enough and well done enough that I would watch it a second time.


First review (no spoilers) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozJhUlOqFZI


Second review (with plot described in detail) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyW01TOyEKI


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Sports tip of the day ....

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“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? ”
― Dave Barry


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Quote of the day ....

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“Someday is not a day of the week.”
― Janet Dailey


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Joke of the day ....

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Why was the broom late this morning?


Because it over swept.

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Quote of the day ...

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“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters


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Question of the day ...

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“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
― Steven Wright


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Works for me ....

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“When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
― Cory Doctorow


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Joke of the day ....

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What was the camel with no hump named?


Humphrey..
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.Book review of the day ...

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Book review of the day -


"The Accursed” is the latest addition to Joyce Carol Oates’s boundless body of work, and it’s spectacular — a coalescence of history, horror and social satire that whirls around for almost 700 mesmerizing pages. Oates started the novel in 1984 but set it aside to steep in its own febrile juices for three decades. Now “The Accursed” arises in full bloom, boasting as much craft as witchcraft.


Ron Charles


(I'm currently reading it and I am amazed at how terrific it is.)

Political Quote of the day ....

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"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it."
— Malcolm X


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Quote of the day ....

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“You can knock on a deaf man's door forever.”
― Nikos Kazantzakis


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Mark Twain quote of the day ....

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“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”
― Mark Twain


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Joke of the day ....

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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look Grandpa! No Hands!


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Quote of the day ....

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“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs


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Useful Info of the Day ......

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“It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening.
If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning


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Joke of the day ....

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How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?


A buccaneer.



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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itAOGRiYRLI


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.Recipe of the day .....

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Recipe of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbT7p_dnJ_0


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.Healing crystal of the day ....

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Healing crystal of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsvbEitcfME


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Joke of the day .....

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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb ?


Only one, but the bulb has to WANT to change.


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Sherlock quote of the day ....

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“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?'


'To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.'


'The dog did nothing in the night-time.'
...

 'That was the curious incident,' remarked Sherlock Holmes.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, Silver Blaze


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Presidential quote of the day ...

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“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
― George W. Bush


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Quote of the day ....

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“Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.”
― Charles M. Schulz


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.ASMR video of the day ....

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ASMR video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw6x3Jhop4o


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Election day advice ...

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“Vote for the person who promises least; they'll be the least disappointing.”
― Bernard M. Baruch


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Quote of the day ...

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“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ”
― Ellen DeGeneres


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Spoiler of the day ....

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What do Vampires and Werewolves have in common?
They both love the same girl.


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Joke of the day .....

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.


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Joke of the day ..

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I have a story about a huge grey animal with big ears, but it's irrelephant.


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.Reiki healing video of the day ......

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Reiki healing video of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y3rS_rp_jk


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Halloween jokes of the day ....

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What kind of jeans do ghosts wear?
Boo Jeans.
What room doesn't a ghost need?
A living room.
What kind of key does a ghost use?
A spooky.
Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
Is that you coffin?
What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
Rap music.
What do you call a witch that likes the beach but is afraid of water?
A chicken sand witch.


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Chestnut of the day .....

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.


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.Unexplained photos of the day ....

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Unexplained photos of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWP8ti_pTBA


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.Reiki healing of the day ......

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Reiki healing of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouQ_YkA5GYM


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Question of the day ....

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Don't you hate it when a sentence doesn't end how you octopus?


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Joke of the day ......

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Two; one to change the light bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.


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Halloween joke of the day ....

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Why did the ghost cross the road?


To get to (spooky voice) *the other side*.
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Joke of the day ......

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.


Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see."


Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."


Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?"


After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today. What does it tell you?"


Sherlock paused, then sighed. "My friend, it tells me that someone stole our tent."


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.Cloud video of the day ........

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Cloud video of the day ........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX830EGUw1w


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Joke of the day .....

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.
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There was an older couple that went to the doctors together. The husband went in first and told  the doctor "I'm worried about my wife. I think she's loosing her hearing, but I don't want to get her upset about it. What can I do to find out how bad her hearing is?"


The doctor said "Well, when you go home ask her something from a distance. Find out if she can hear you. Get a little bit closer, ask her again, see if she can hear you. And then let me know how close you have to be to her for her to finally hear you and then I can determine how bad her hearing is."


That evening they were home and the wife was in the kitchen cooking  dinner.


The husband stood in the living room and asks  "Honey, what's for dinner?"


No reaction, she's still cooking.


He gets a little bit closer, "Honey, what's for dinner?"


Still no reaction.


He gets to the kitchen doorway. He asks her again in a louder voice this time. "Honey, whats for dinner?"


Still, no reaction.


He comes up right behind her and says again. "Honey, what's for dinner?"


She turns around and says, "For heavens sake! Meatloaf, green beans and boiled potatoes, I told you four times already!"


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Quote of the day .....

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“Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.”
― Dick Francis


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Joke of the day .....

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Why wasn't the kitten playing?
Because he was on paws.


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g


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.Unusual photos of the day .....

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Unusual photos of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFBjJZnuST4


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.Amazing cloud video of the day ......

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Amazing cloud video of the day ......


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiFyg0i9K3M


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Quote of the day .....

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“When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.”
― Criss Jami


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Repair tip of the day ....

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How do you fix a broken tuba?


With a tuba glue.


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Chestnut of the day ....

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A Buddhist monk goes to a hotdog stand and says make me one with everything.


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Caution ...

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Never believe minotaurs, half of everything they say is bull!


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Joke of the day ....

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Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?


To get to the same side.


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.Definition of the day ......

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Puns are a rare medium well done.


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.Reiki healing video of the day .....

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Reiki healing video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQVE831_cPs


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.Reptilian video of the day ....

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Reptilian video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t13Jvo83x7k


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.Awesome cloud video of the day .....

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Awesome cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juJ6sA2ZEVk


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.Weird video of the day ....

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Weird video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5Y2Hnh_lfY


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Einstein joke of the day ....

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks... Does Boston stop at this train?


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Last word on the subject ....

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PMS jokes are not funny... period.


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Pirate joke of the day ....

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?


Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Joke of the day ....

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?


A condescending con descending.


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.Crystal helper of the day ...

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Crystal helper of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UidaB5aBHAM&list=UU5xKAjwDubUUE3Xl9jjMZDA


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.Reiki healing video of the day ....

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Reiki healing video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwVgHAQ72fY


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.Reptilian shape shifter video of the day ...

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Reptilian shape shifter video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te2TBS8JQpM


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.Time travel video of the day .....

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Time travel video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSepmQEtHqc


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Question of the day .....

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“Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?”
― Jim Butcher


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Explanation of the day ....

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“You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.”
― Albert Einstein


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Joke of the day .....

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music.




Mt. Rushmore. They're a rock group   (it's a rock...group)


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Time travel video of the day ....

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Time travel video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm9DwwsCSb0


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Tarot card of the day ......

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Tarot card of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK8jX6X8uNk


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Reiki healing video of the day .....

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Reiki healing video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj1Cnvmby0Y


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Amazing cloud video of the day ...

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Amazing cloud video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFDLKAGbKtE


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Unexplained photos of the day ....

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Unexplained photos of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU5rtGDaE9Y


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Shopping tip of the day ....

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“Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.”
― David Levithan
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Quote of the day .....

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“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!


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Definition of the day ....

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“Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
― Ambrose Bierce


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Joke of the day ....

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That girl said she knew me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never seen herbivore. [her before]


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Nerdy joke of the day ....

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak even though it was a little Chewie.


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Clerical joke of the day ....

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After the pastor ate too many beans he sat in his own pew.


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Musical joke of the day ...

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What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?


Ba Na Na Naaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


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Crystal healing video of the day ....

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni58UgMFLj4&list=UU5xKAjwDubUUE3Xl9jjMZDA


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Reiki healing video of the day .....

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Reiki healing video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUv_xbYH6ac


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.Awesome cloud video of the day .....

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Awesome cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dhwWHYyWGU


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.Invisibility video of the day .....

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Invisibility video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zKQe-1BUFQ


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Quote of the day ....

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“It is harder to crack prejudice than an atom.”
― Albert Einstein


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Rodney Dangerfield quote of the day ....

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“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
― Rodney Dangerfield


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Steven Wright quote of the day ....

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“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
― Steven Wright


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Jarod Kintz quote of the day ..

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“I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep.”
― Jarod Kintz


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Chestnut of the day .....

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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?


Because they had so many knights


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Nerdy joke of the day ....

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What did the sub-atomic duck say?
Quark!


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Forgotten Joke of the day ..

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke... It'll come back to me.


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Joke of the day .....

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Why was the sand wet?


Because the seaweed. 


(The sea  wee'd)


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Strange music video of the day ....

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Strange music video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5avIdHSCHHA


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Relaxing video of the day ...

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Relaxing video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YP6ygGqew8


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Crystal healing video of the day ....

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Crystal healing video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KUeXBKA9ww


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The "I don't know what I'm looking at" video of the day ...

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The "I don't know what I'm looking at" video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlxxrT7oLsU


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Unexplained Broadcasts of the Day ....

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Unexplained Broadcasts of the Day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJwE5MyeNWA


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Film making quote of the day ....

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“If you're going to make a science fiction movie, then have a hover craft chase, for heaven's sake.”
― Joss Whedon


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Legal tip of the day ....

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“You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game- you can look it up.”
― Ally Carter


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Psychological insight of the day ....

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“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”
― Mary Karr


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Presidential Quote of the Day ....

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“I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?”
― Ronald Reagan


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Literary Joke of the Day ....

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?


Thoreau editing... (Thorough.)


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Joke of the day ....

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What's the difference between a Tuna and a piano?


You can tune a piano, but you cannot piano a Tuna.


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Reiki healing video of the day ......

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Reiki healing video of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za4brzjohCo


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Reptilian shape shifter video of the day .....

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Reptilian shape shifter video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCi4n9egBh4


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Awesome cloud video of the day .....

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Awesome cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FeRic6WagA


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The "I don't know what I'm looking at" video of the day ....

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The "I don't know what I'm looking at" video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHl4gtp7e-4&list=PL74386B88F3526C73


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Quote of the day .....

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“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.”
― Edward Verrall Lucas


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Oscar Wilde quote of the day .....

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“If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.”
― Oscar Wilde


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Chestnut of the day .....

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Who shaves 20 times a day?


A barber.


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Wildlife joke of the day .....

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What do you call a shrimp with 3 eyes?


A shri-i-imp.


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Joke of the day ....

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A bacteria walks into a concert hall while they're setting up the sound equipment. The bouncer at the door stops him and says to him "Sorry you can't come in here." The bacteria responds "but I'm Staph."


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Quote of the day ....

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“My formula for life is very simple: in the morning, wake up; at night, go to sleep. In between I try and occupy myself as best I can.”
― Cary Grant


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.Feel good video of the day ....

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Feel good video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfJtWjPl9ok


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.The "I don't know what I'm look at" video of the day ....

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The "I don't know what I'm look at" video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS80EpfVmWs


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Reptilian shapeshifter video of the day .....

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Reptilian shapeshifter video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jvRmrFcKwI


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Joke of the day ....

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Four college students weren’t prepared for an exam, and decided to skip it and ask for a make-up exam, explaining to the professor that their car had a flat tire on the way to class that day. The professor agreed to a make-up, at which time he seated the four students in separate corners of the room and wrote one exam question on the chalkboard. The question was, "Which tire?"


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Quote of the day ....

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.”
― Reba McEntire


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Wildlife joke of the day ...

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What did the porcupine say when he looked in the mirror?


Looking sharp!




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Joke of the Day .....

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Why don't skeletons fight each other?


They don't have the guts.


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.Funny video of the day .....

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Funny video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUANIvNmYzQ


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.Ghost photo of the day .....

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Ghost photo of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYdA1zrXgGA


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.Amazing cloud video of the day ....

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Amazing cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HloNlnImz-Q


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.Shape shifter video of the day ....

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Shape shifter video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQCRnfr9WLA


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Joke of the day ....

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How do you repair a broken tomato?


Tomato Paste.


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Sports joke of the day ....

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What lights up a soccer stadium?


A soccer match.


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.Amazing cloud video of the day ....

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Amazing cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BQkRQKFXAs


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Quote of the day .....

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“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
― Ambrose Bierce


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.Lemony Snicket quote of the day ...

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Lemony Snicket quote of the day ...




“Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nonetheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. ”
― Lemony Snicket, The End


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ASMR video of the day .....

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ASMR video of the day (you will need headphones or earbuds to listen properly)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqWtXvB78XA&list=PL78HBGTSjrBsfFrOdKID_TwUfb68BKedm


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.Linguistics video of the day ...

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Linguistics video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TtnD4jmCDQ


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.Reptilian video of the day ....

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Reptilian video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx8GJHz30e4


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Alternate joke of the day ....

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Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
He couldn't concentrate.


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Joke of the day .....

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I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I just have beer.


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Nerdy joke of the day ....

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What did the mermaid wear to math class?


An algae-bra.


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.Music video of the day ....

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Music video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-B8k0n_3cs


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The "I don't understand what I'm watching" video of the day ...

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The "I don't understand what I'm watching" video of the day ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dix7FLulri0


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Riddle ...

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What are the strongest days?


Saturday and Sunday because the other days are WEAK days!


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Joke of the day ...

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Which side of the chicken has more feathers?


 The outside.


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Quote of the day .....

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“All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”
― Seán O'Casey


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Steven Wright quote of the day ....

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“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
― Steven Wright


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Jarod Kintz quote of the day ....

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“I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.”
― Jarod Kintz


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.Aussie accent joke of the day .....

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Aussie accent joke of the day .....


A general is doing his rounds at a military hospital when he comes across an Australian soldier that seemed very depressed. The general says to him, "Son, you didn't come here to die." The soldier replies "No, I came in yesterday!"


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Too true ....

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A kingdom without a king is just dumb.


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Fitness tip of the day ....

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Here are some steps to avoid elevators ....


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Nerdy Joke of the day .....

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Did you hear of the scientist who froze himself to absolute zero?


He was 0 k.


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.ASMR video of the day .....

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ASMR video of the day ..... (you will need headphones or earbuds to hear this properly) ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MJ4znyNIM8


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.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyP9_O4RuSw


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.UFO video of the day .....

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UFO video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLdChdccuYQ


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.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezaBqCf0hv0


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.Grumpy cat video of the day ....

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Grumpy cat video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3S9a8blkK4


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.Music video of the day .....

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Music video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg_EYc3SFuQ


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.Cute video of the day .....

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Cute video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9HV5O8Un6k


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Hopeful quote of the day ....

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“My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”
― Jim Henson


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Home making warning of the day ..

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“Housework can kill you if done right.”
― Erma Bombeck


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Art quote of the day .....

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“The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it.”
― Jarod Kintz


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Quote of the day ....

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“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.”
― Groucho Marx


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Joke of the day ....

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.
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What did the shy pebble wish?


That she was a little bolder.


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.Ghost video of the day .....

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Ghost video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsl0YATY1yw


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.Amazing cloud video of the day .....

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.
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Amazing cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgxl0s6C5kI


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.Sound of the day ......

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.
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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDir9-UoPjo


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Musical joke of the day ....

.
.
.
A man goes into a see a doctor. He asks what's wrong Doctor? The Doctor replies I'm afraid it's Tom Jones Disease. The patient asks is it common? The doctor says it's not unusual.


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My dream ....

.
.
.
I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.


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Sad joke of the day ....

.
.
.
What do you get when you cross an interstate with a tricycle?


Killed


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Joke of the day ....

.
.
.
What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?


A dead centipede.
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.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIf5Ebu6WeY


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.Ghost video of the day .....

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Ghost video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQDnPdmsppU


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.Amazing cloud video of the day ....

.
.
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Amazing cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xulmsMA9wUo


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Quote of the day ....

.
.
.
“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass


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Terry Pratchett quote of the day ...

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.
.
“Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather


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Sign of the day .....

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Sign in toy store:  Don't feed the animals. They are already stuffed.


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Godzilla joke of the day ...

.
.
.
What did Godzilla say after eating a four-cylinder Datsun?


"Gosh, I could have had a V-8!"


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Joke of the day ....

.
.
.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.


.
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.Spooky video of the day ......

.
.
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Spooky video of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFvqDuL5v8k


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.Strange cloud video of the day ......

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Strange cloud video of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afpbofp9FgU


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.Sound of the day .......

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Sound of the day .......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m_avyMjcL8


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Pirate joke of the day .....

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Why couldn't the kid watch the pirate movie?


Because it was rated Rrrr!


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Chestnut of the day .....

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Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund?


To git alonng little doggeh!


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Joke of the day .....

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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.


It's a shitzu.


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Joke of the day ....

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How does Jack Frost get to work?


By icicle
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.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd7v_EBAsxs


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.Amazing cloud video of the day .....

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Amazing cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TaZWBgh2jk


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Cultural difference of the day .....

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“In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting.


In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea.


I liked the Irish way better.”
― C.E. Murphy

Quote of the day ....

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“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”
― Scott Adams


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Seasonal joke of the day ....

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What do you call Santa's little helpers?


Subordinate clauses.


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Why of the day ...

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Why was the borrowed money sad?


It was A LOAN


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Joke of the day .....

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What did Zero say to the Eight?


"Nice Belt!"


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Quote of the day ....

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“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”
― Terry Pratchett


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.Music performance of the day ....

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Music performance of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl8iBkjnRdA
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.Mime performance of the day ....

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Mime performance of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmUZgoqrIYA


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.Amazing cloud video of the day ....

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Amazing cloud video of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXsgh6sVBEU


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.Sound of the day .....

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Sound of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdMAYZX9PAs


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Chestnut of the day .....

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Why did the boy throw his clock out of the window?


Because he wanted to see time fly!


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Joke of the day ....

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Did you hear about the mechanic who is addicted to brake fluid?


He says he can stop at any time.


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.UFO photos of the day .......

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UFO photos of the day .......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoQr1JT2oSU


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.Weird veggie of the day ......

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Weird veggie of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrWQBJ1jokM


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.Amazing cloud video of the day .....

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Amazing cloud video of the day .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE7ickKPKUs


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.Sound of the day ......

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Sound of the day ......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ny9QlBRA8K4


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Joke of the day ....

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Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings
from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out
past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline
ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and
then make such an obvious error, he replied:
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"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."


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Geeky Joke of the day ....

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Q. Who invented algebra?
A. A Clever X-pert.


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.Sound of the day ....

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Sound of the day ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEZUY_iDGZ0


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Joke of the day .....

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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom?


Because the P is silent!


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