Sookie's Birthday Surprise: November 2016

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Lyrics of the Day ...

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There's a dark and a troubled side of life;
There's a bright and a sunny side, too;
Tho' we meet with the darkness and strife,
The sunny side we also may view.

[chorus]

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life;
It will help us ev'ry day, it will brighten all the way,
If we keep on the sunny side of life.
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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Jokes of the Day ....

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Why was the library so tall?
It had lots of stories!
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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a woodworm!
Really? What a boring life you have!
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Why was the millipede late?
Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby sister!
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What happened to the man who crossed his dog with a car?
He kept it in a barking lot!

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Monday, November 28, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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<(*_*)> - Thoughts of the Day

1) I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

2) I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

3) I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect. ...

4) Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

5) How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

6) Snowmen fall from the sky unassembled.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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(*_*) - Modern Proverbs

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

c.. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

d.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

e.. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

f.. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

g.. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

h.. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious

i.. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

j.. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

k.. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

l.. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

m.. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

n.. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

o.. Always stay focu ...

p.. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

q.. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

r.. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

s.. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

t.. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

u.. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

v.. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

w.. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

x.. Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.

y.. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.

z.. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

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Friday, November 25, 2016

Free Friday B&N Book ...

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Free Friday B&N Nook Book ....

Desperate Measures

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/desperate-measures-elle-casey/1122650621?ean=2940150949812

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Free Nook Books November 25 ....

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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(

^_^) - New Cop

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue. "Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."
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"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."

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Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Quote of the Day ...

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Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books are a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

~ Arnold Lobel

(My PS.)

I filled up my Kindle
I filled up my Nooks
I have a cloud somewhere
With thousands of book
Since my collection went online
I add more books all the time

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Sunday, November 20, 2016

Free Nook Books ....

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Free at Posting:

Against the Odds

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Fagainst-the-odds-mara-jacobs%2F1112938472%3Fean%3D2940148987970%26_bbid%3D2480062%26st%3DAFF%26SID%3DBNB_DRS_Evergreen_20150928%262sid%3DPubmark%2BInc._5620418_NA%26sourceId%3DAFFPubmark%2BInc.M000019

Star Wars Rebels

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Fstar-wars-rebels-michael-kogge%2F1119332764%3Fean%3D9781484702840

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Thought of the Day ...

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Lemony Snicket quote of the day ...

“Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nonetheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. ”

― Lemony Snicket, The End

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me.

When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Friday, November 18, 2016

Free Friday B&N Nook Book ...

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Free Friday B&N Nook Book ...

Revenge of the Witch (Last Apprentice Series #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/revenge-of-the-witch-joseph-delaney/1101023209?ean=9780062120953

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Free Nook Books November 18 .....

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.

After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from overhearing you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Galway, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Galway?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on Walsh Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith; it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Peter's of course."

The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1974."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Peter's in 1974 my own self."

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight, the O'Brien twins are drunk again."
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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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(^_^) - The Importance of Punctuation

I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.'

When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.

'Just where do you think you going?' she asked.

'What do you mean?' I said.

She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: 'Thanks for putting up with me. So long.'

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Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Jokes of the Day ....

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How do solar systems hold up their trousers?
With asteroid belts!
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How do Indian and African elephants talk to each other?
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On an elephone!
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How do lady vampires attract male vampires?
They bat their eyelashes!

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Monday, November 14, 2016

Tongue Twister of the Day ....

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A Tongue Twister (I even had a problem reading it, let alone saying it ;-))

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw!

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Joke of the Day ...

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A little boy was in a aunt's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the boy sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

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Sunday, November 13, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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(*_*) - Short Story - A College Writing Test

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The instructions were:

The short story had to contain the following three things:

1.) Religion

2.) Sexuality

3.) Mystery

Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class.

'Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it?'
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Quote of the Day ...

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I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. -- Paul Anderson

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Saturday, November 12, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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(*?*) - Constant Speed
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
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In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
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Don't ride the Merry Go Round when you are drunk.

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Blog Archive

About Me

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Monday, November 28, 2016

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Friday, November 25, 2016

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Friday, November 18, 2016

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Monday, November 14, 2016

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Friday, November 11, 2016