Jokes and stuff

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Some eggs, bacon and toast walk into a bar and order some drinks, but the bartender replies, "Sorry but we don't serve breakfast here."

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Two atoms are walking together when one of them starts panicking: "I just lost an electron!"

The other asks: "Are you sure?"

The first one: "I'm positive!"

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

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sodium= Na

So sixteen sodium atoms followed by Batman is NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa Batman

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Sibling Property Rules

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If I'm playing with Legos, all the pieces are mine.

6. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

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Two criminals with clubs went golfing, but they didn't play the fairway.

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Notice outside the supermarket: Chicken soup is out of stock.

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A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

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Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a doctor sent to them as a health provider and ate him. He was very tender and tasty, yet they were all violently sick afterwards. It shows that you can't keep a good man down.

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Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.

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What's musical and handy in a supermarket?

A Chopin Liszt.

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Old printers never die, they're just not the type.
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