Saturday, October 3, 2020

Jokes and stuff

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While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. 

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.

'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 

'Yes, that's right,' I told her.

'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me,'would you please tie my shoe?'

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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because the P is silent!

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“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.” 

― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

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“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” 

― Albert Einstein 

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 

― Albert Einstein 

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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

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“What's another word for thesaurus?” 

― Steven Wright

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At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a magician with wings? 

A flying sorcerer. 

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