Jokes and stuff

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What did one duck egg say to the other duck egg? 

Let’s get quacking!

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 What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now! 

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What did one parrot say to the other parrot while sitting on a perch? 

Can you smell fish?

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“All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.” 

― Seán O'Casey

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“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

― Steven Wright

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“I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.” 

― Jarod Kintz

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Aussie accent joke of the day .....

A general is doing his rounds at a military hospital when he comes across an Australian soldier that seemed very depressed. The general says to him, "Son, you didn't come here to die." 

The soldier replies "No, I came in yesterday!"

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A kingdom without a king is just dumb.

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Here are some steps to avoid elevators ....

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Did you hear of the scientist who froze himself to absolute zero?

He was 0 k.

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“The Red Queen shook her head. "You may call it 'nonsense' if you like," she said, "but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!”

― Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There

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