Jokes and stuff

 .

.

.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. 

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. 

When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. 

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. 

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

===========

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.” 

― Ambrose Bierce

=============

Lemony Snicket quote of the day ...

“Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nonetheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. ” 

― Lemony Snicket, The End

===========

Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?

He couldn't concentrate.

===========

I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I just have beer.

===========

What did the mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.

======

“Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

.

.

.