.
.
.
Why is a giraffe so slow to apologize?
It takes him a long time to swallow his pride.
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How do vampires like their coffee?
De-coffiin-ated!
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How does an ocean make itself taste good?
Sea-soning!
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How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste.
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What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
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“Alice thought to herself, 'Then there's no use in speaking.'
The voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you understand what thinking in chorus means--for I must confess that I don't),
'Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass
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A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
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