Jokes and stuff

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(😊) - Birds of a Feather ?

It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:

Regis: 'Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend."

"The next question will give you the top prize of $1 million dollars, if you get it right. But if you get it wrong, you will drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?'

Barbara: 'Sure, I'll have a go!'

Regis: 'Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?

Is it:

A - Robin

B - Sparrow

C - Cuckoo

D - Thrush

Remember Barbara - its worth $1 million dollars.'

'I think I know who it... I'm not 100%... no, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.'

Regis: 'Yes. Who, Barbara, do you want to phone?'

Barbara: 'I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.' .....(ringing)

Maggie: 'Hello...'

Regis: 'Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to get to a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and only 1 correct answer. You have 30 seconds to reply -- fire away Barbara.'

Barbara: 'Maggie, which of the following birds does not build its own nest?

Is it:

A- Robin

B- Sparrow

C- Cuckoo

D- Thrush

Maggie: 'Oh gees, Barbara that's simple...It's a cuckoo.'

Barbara: 'You think?'

Maggie: 'I'm sure.'

Barbara: 'Thanks Maggie.' (hangs up)

Regis: 'Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?'

Barbara: 'I want to play, I'll go with c-cuckoo'

Regis: 'Is that your final answer?'

Barbara: 'It is.'

Regis: 'Are you confident?'

Barbara: 'Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet.'

Regis: 'Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said c-cuckoo...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara!'

That night Barbara called round to Maggie and brought her down to a local bar for a celebratory drink and, as they were sipping their champagne, Barbara turned to Maggie and asked: 'Tell me Maggie, How on earth did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?'

Maggie: 'Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a cuckoo lives in a clock!'

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What do you call a Tyrannosaurus Rex that sells guns?

A small arms dealer.

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How do you knock out an elephant? 

Trunk-quilizer! 

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How do you know a dog eating fireflies is happy? 

It barks with de-light! 

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How do you know a duck enjoys flying upside down? 

It quacks up!

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“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? ” 

― Dave Barry

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Why was the broom late this morning?

Because it over swept.

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“Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure”

Jane Brody

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