Jokes and stuff

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.

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Girl: My cat swallowed a ball of wool! 

Teacher: Oh no! What happened? 

Girl: She had mittens! 

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Have you got any holes in your socks? 

No! 

How do you get your feet in then? 

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Headmaster: Why are your eyes crossed? 

Teacher: I just can’t control my pupils!

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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“There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.” 

― Tom Robbins

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Is the glass Half Empty Or is it Half Full? 

Depends on who's buying.

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