Jokes and stuff

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Who invented King Arthur's round table?

Sir Cumference!

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Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? 

The outside! 

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Which fish are known for their miracles? 

Angelfish! 

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Which fish can still get around when the water is frozen? 

Skates!

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╰♥.☆.♥╮ 

Today in Elvis Presley History

1935 - Elvis Aaron Presley was born in Tupelo, Mississippi. His twin brother Jessie Garon was stillborn. 

1946 - Elvis Presley received his first guitar from his parents. 

1955 - Elvis Presley's third single "Milkcow Blues Boogie" was released. 

1956 - Elvis Presley performed at The Louisiana Hayride. He also performed the previous day. 

1957 - The Memphis Draft Board announced that Elvis Presley had been classified as A1 and that he would probably be drafted within the next six to eight months. 

1959 - Dick Clark, host of American Bandstand, called Elvis in Germany to tell him that he had been voted most popular singer of the year and that his record "King Creole" was the most popular record of the year. 

1965 - Hal Wallis agreed to change Elvis Presley's 1958 contract into a five-picture deal. The movies Elvis made under the contract were "Blue Hawaii", "Girls! Girls! Girls!", "Fun In Acapulco", "Roustabout" and "Paradise Hawaiian Style". 

1981 - "Elvis Presley Day" was declared in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, North & South Carolina, Pennsylvania and Virginia. 

1993 - The U.S. Postal Service released a stamp of Elvis. The picture used was one of Elvis in the 1950's. 

2004 - RCA Records and BMG Strategic Marketing Group with the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) announced that Elvis Presley had become the best selling solo artist in U.S. history.

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What do cats call their grandfather? 

Grandpaw! 

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What do cows listen to? 

Moo-sic!

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The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. ~ Shirley Maclaine

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