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.
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Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."
— Ellen DeGeneres
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"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."
— Guillaume Apollinaire
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“I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.”
― Steven Wright
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Which snakes are the best at math?
Adders!
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Why didn't the igloo have a couch?
So polar bears couldn’t hide behind it!
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Would You Like to Join...
*The Yoko Club? Oh no.
*The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.
*The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.
*The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?
*The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with this door?
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Why was the chick disappointed with its life?
It wasn't all it was cracked up to be!
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Why was the cow always exercising?
It wanted to build up its moo-scles!
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Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long putting his shoes on!
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Why is it easy to spot Cinderella-fish?
They have glass flippers!
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MY LIBRARY
by Varda One
It's only a room with shelves and books,
but it's far more magical than it looks
It's a jet on which I soar
to lands that exist no more.
Or a key with which I find
answers to questions crowding my mind.
Building my habit of learning and growing,
asking and researching till I reach knowing.
Here, I've been a mermaid and an elf
I've even learned to be more myself.
I think that I shall never see
a place that's been more useful to me.
With encouraging kind friends with wit
Who tell me to dream big and never quit.
It's only a room with shelves and books,
but it's far more magical than it looks.
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.
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