Jokes and stuff

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(😊) Klonsky's Shoe Repair in the Bronx

Ira Kaplan hadn't returned to the old neighborhood since he went off to fight in Vietnam.

During a business trip to New York he visits his old neighborhood on Kotler Avenue in the Bronx.

Everything has changed over the years. Where once there was Edelstein's Delicatessen, there is now a McDonald's; where Fleischman's Dry Cleaning (One-Hour Martinizing) used to be, a Korean nail salon and spa now is; where Ginsberg's Department Store was, there is now a Gap.

Nothing is the same, except for the narrow storefront of Klonsky's Shoe Repair, which, dimly lit as ever, is still in business. As Kaplan passes the shop, he recalls (such are the quirks of memory that he does not know how) that just before he was drafted to go off to Vietnam, he had left a pair of shoes with Mr. Klonsky that he never bothered to pick up. Could they, he wonders, possibly still be there?

A small bell tinkles as he enters the dark shop.

Mr. Klonsky, who seemed old 40 years ago, shuffles out from the back.

He is hunched over, wearing a leather apron, one eye all but closed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Klonsky," Kaplan says, "but I used to live in this neighborhood, and 40 years ago I left a pair of shoes with you for repair that I never picked up. Is there any chance you might still have them?"

Klonsky stares at him and, in his strong Eastern European accent, asks, "Vas dey black wingtips?"

"They were indeed," Kaplan only now recalls.

"And you wanted a halve sole, with rubber heels?"

"Yes," says Kaplan. "That's exactly what I wanted."

"And you wanted taps on the heels only?"

"Yes, yes," says Kaplan. "Amazing! Do you still have them?"

Mr. Klonsky looks up at him, with his good eye asquint, and says,

...................."They'll be ready Wednesday."

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Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening - Robert Frost 

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though; 

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

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“If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?”

― Jerry Seinfeld

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“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” 

― Winston S. Churchill

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Knock Knock. .

Who's there?! 

B-4 ! 

B-4 who ? 

B-4 I freeze to death, please open this door !

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I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

- Mitch Hedberg

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"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it."

-Sam Levenson

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“My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.” 

―  Evanovich

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