Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Funny Quotes

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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

''I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said 'Can I help you?' and he said 'No, I'm just looking.''' (George Miller)

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." Groucho Marx

"This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a president, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50."
-Jay Leno

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it."
-Sam Levenson

What's the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit, a dog just pants.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

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