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“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
“If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.” – Kurt Vonnegut
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.” – W.C. Fields
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton
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