Humor Quotes

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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.

- Tom Lehrer


When you argue with reality, you lose - but only always.

- Byron Katie

What you want is irrelevant, what you have chosen is at hand.

- Spock in Star Trek VI

What is history but a fable agreed upon?

- Napoleon Bonaparte


Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

- Anonymous


Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.

- H. L. Mencken



Get the facts first. You can distort them later.

- Mark Twain


I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish there was less immaturity in political thinking.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

- George Burns

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

-Douglas Adams

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race."

-Don Marquis

"Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve."

-George Bernard Shaw

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