Monday, February 8, 2021

Jokes and stuff

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“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” 

― Narcotics Anonymous

What has 4 legs but can’t walk? 

A table! 

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Why did the king draw straight lines? 

Because he was the ruler!

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“Hello, I would like to try on that dress in the window please.” 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to use the dressing room for that.”

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All mushrooms are edible. Some are edible only once.

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“ Son, wake up, time for school!” 

“I don’t want to go! All the kids and teachers hate me!” 

“But you have to go, you’re the principal!”

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My girlfriend told me she’s going to leave me because I love poker more than her. I think she’s bluffing!”

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What does a mouse say when it sees a bat? 

“Look, a guardian angel!”

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Two 0s pass an 8 and whisper to each other.

“Look how tight his belt is!” 

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Two matches see a needle. 

“Look out, a robot!

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