Jokes and stuff

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What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? 

Someday my prints will come.

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What did the stamp say to the envelope? 

Stick with me and we will go places.

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Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing

can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity

to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel

that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything

and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,

and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others

as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past

and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times

and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself

that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,

not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side

so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

― C.. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

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(*_*) - Walk on Water

All of his life George from Caribou, Maine had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. 

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. 

On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink. 

So when George's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Corky took a boat out to the middle of the lake. 

George stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! 

Corky just managed to pull him to safety. 

Furious and confused, George went to see his grandmother. 

"Grandma, it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?" 

Granny looked into George's eyes and said, 

"Because your father, grandfather and great grandfather were born in January, you were born in July."

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