Funny Reboots of Maxims

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One person can make a difference, if that person is, like, Bill Gates or
whatzisname, the speaker of the House of Representatives.

(Russell Beland, Springfield)


Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a
refrigerator repairman.

(Bird Waring, New York)


A high tide lifts all boats, except those with a big gaping hole in the
bottom.

(Bobby Welsh, Annandale)

There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer
factory.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

You can run but you can't hide, except apparently along the Afghan-Pakistani
border.

(Bob Wallace, Reston)

Say not that honor is the child of boldness, nor believe that the hazard of
life alone can pay the price of it; it is not the action that is due, but to
the manner of performing it. You got all that? Me neither.

(Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many
people who can fly by flapping their arms.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Every failure is a step to success up a ladder that will eventually collapse
under the weight of all those failures.


A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does
falling down a flight of stairs.

(Richard Doty, Washington)

Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.

(Tom McCudden, Durham, N.C.)

Never underestimate your ability to overestimate your ability.

(Donna Lewis, Vienna)

Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations the Heimlich
maneuver may be more appropriate.

(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next
village.

(Charles Star, New York)

The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were
changed 'cause you're some sort of psycho.

(Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

You have to learn to crawl before you can grovel.

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you're
probably the executioner.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Every dog has his day. Of course, his day consists of smelling other dogs'
butts.

(Mark Briscoe, Arlington)

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably
isn't going to be interested in some frog-kisser.

(Amanda Richards, Palatine, Ill.)

True beauty is on the inside, where no one will ever see it.

(David Iscoe, Washington)

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