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There is a sign in Munich that says, "Heisenberg might have slept here."
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Psychiatrist to patient: "Don't worry. You're not deluded. You only think you are."
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A statistician gave birth to twins, but only had one of them baptized. She kept the other as a control.
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A statistician is someone who tells you, when you've got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you're – on average - very comfortable.
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Everyone can have his own religion but no one can have his own science.
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